tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22616187808307876942024-03-13T17:21:23.981-07:00The Adventures of a Hijabi WaitressMy musings on life. Sometimes I even make sense.Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-65629836739553336052014-09-18T20:28:00.001-07:002014-09-18T20:32:04.481-07:00God is not all you need when you have a problem. <div dir="ltr">
<i>Warning: I discuss mental illness and briefly mention suicide in this post.</i></div>
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I get really upset when people tell others to only talk with God about their problems. "Don't talk to others - they don't care. Just tell God everything. Talk to God. God is all you need."</div>
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Look, I'm not discounting the psychological value of talking out your problems to a higher power or even your cat - Dave got to listen to a teary few minutes last night - but <i>telling people to never talk with other humans about their problems is dangerous.</i></div>
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I'm mentally ill. Quite often - <i>especially</i> when I've got no active outside input - it's really, <i>really</i> hard for me to distinguish between reality and what I've convinced myself is going on.</div>
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Pay a friend to draw me something, but they haven't after a month or so? I will freak. The fuck. Out. I will convince myself that they don't like me, that they forgot, that they don't care, that everyone else is more important to them than me, that me asking them about it will be seen as needy and pushy and ungrateful. I will learn later that they've got an art queue and haven't gotten to my piece yet, and feel like shit for jumping to conclusions, but my point is, <i>active outside input about your problems - <b>especially your mental and emotional problems</b> - is important for your mental health.</i></div>
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Not just for the mentally ill, either. Your brain will trick you into thinking the worst - or the best, which will cause you the worst - because your brain is evil. People need constant feedback on everything they do. Not always active feedback, but feedback. Communication from others. This is how we flesh out and exchange ideas. This is how you tell when someone on the bus doesn't want to interact with you. This is how you let people know that You Are Not Ok And You Need Help. Keeping things bottled up is <i>so</i> <a href="http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201103/talk-about-your-problems-please">detrimental</a> to your <a href="http://mobile.us.reachout.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fus.reachout.com%2Ffacts%2Ffactsheet%2Fhow-talking-to-someone-can-help&utm_referrer=#2918">health</a>.*</div>
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I inadvertently take things to the extreme, but look, active outside input about my problems prevented me from needing to be hospitalized recently. I'm not discounting God in this - I thank God for putting those people in my life <i>to help me through my issues.</i> But I would quite possibly be on the verge of suicide right now (and certainly in the hospital as a suicide risk) if I'd only talked with God - because God does not talk back. God does not sit with you until three in the morning and comfort you, tell you you're not a terrible person, that yes, you made mistakes, but you didn't deserve the abuse you received in return. God doesn't provide a stable voice when you're in a crisis. God is not physically or verbally <i>there.</i></div>
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And that's what you need when you're having issues. You need people to be able to ground you in reality, to hold your hand no matter how metaphorically, to stroke your hair and let you soak their shirt in tears, to tell you that you're worth something - that you're worth a lot.</div>
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I can't call God up in the middle of the night and hear Their voice. I can't text God, or PM God, or hug God, or get real-time feedback from God on my thoughts, emotions, and actions.</div>
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But God has given me living, breathing, <i>present</i> people to do that in Their stead. And that should <i>never</i> be discounted or diminished.</div>
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*This may not always apply. People with anxiety will often find it more stressful to talk about their problems that not - but keeping problems bottled up is still bad for you. Even one trusted person to talk with about them helps.</div>
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<b><a href="http://mentalillnessmouse.tumblr.com/helpfulresources">Here is a list of useful resources if you're depressed, suicidal, have anxiety, need help finding a therapist, etc.</a></b></div>
Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-32431030376933373102014-07-27T21:00:00.001-07:002014-07-27T21:00:34.673-07:00I'm back like a vertebrae<p dir="ltr">Soooooooo, how long as it been since I've updated here? Haha, you thought I was going to have a regular posting schedule. Instead, millions of turtles have been placed in your living room. </p>
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<p dir="ltr">Good luck with that.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So yeah, I've moved to Utah and I'm working on Eid. Again. I'm always either working, on my period, or I forget what time prayers are and miss them. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Oops.</p>
Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-40118580274209070682013-06-06T23:54:00.000-07:002013-06-07T00:29:03.115-07:00The Courtship of The Hijabi Waitress and LordSaiI'm on the <a href="http://okcupid.com/" target="_blank">OKCupid</a> dating website; I have been for several years, even if most of them have been inactive. Occasionally I'll get really inane, asinine messages, and once in a blue moon I'll get downright harassment - mostly about being Muslim, or sometimes from a Muslim who can't fathom that sexuality and faith aren't mutually exclusive because I've put "bisexual" because they don't have options for "asexual, panromantic".<br />
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And then lo and behold, tonight I opened my OKC messages and <i>this</i> wondrous gem was waiting for me, by the charming and eloquent LordSai.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ-4ypWJf-_VD70WIqgzYlZQwHXAPFO9DTUTXG_jNnfbYPPVlsaNTJ9x64jdyOdaGdYAkwA8mEiSgiW7lmwX64VwtqJ0eBicQih-X60voFcz09sC642FexP2oxE5UtIfdzMC73tY28FzFV/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-06-06+at+11.57.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ-4ypWJf-_VD70WIqgzYlZQwHXAPFO9DTUTXG_jNnfbYPPVlsaNTJ9x64jdyOdaGdYAkwA8mEiSgiW7lmwX64VwtqJ0eBicQih-X60voFcz09sC642FexP2oxE5UtIfdzMC73tY28FzFV/s640/Screen+shot+2013-06-06+at+11.57.43+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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I mean, what a catch, right? <i>Clearly</i> this man is my soulmate - he is a gentleman who knows <i>exactly</i> what to say to win a lady's heart. Amirite, ladies?<br />
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After reporting my would-be suitor's messages as harassment, a rape threat, and harassment, respectively, I pondered how best to express my joy at his messages and yet sorrow at invoking his anger, and finally settled on the following:</div>
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I mean, what <i>else</i> could I have sent?<br />
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<b>UPDATE:</b><br />
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O frabjous day, callooh, callay! Look at how compatible we are!<br />
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On sex:<br />
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On relationships involving existing children:<br />
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On respecting a friend's relationship:<br />
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On parenting:<br />
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On grammar and respecting women:<br />
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On basic hygiene:<br />
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On a woman's right to determine when she has a child:<br />
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On being a decent person and basic science (aka common sense):<br />
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Truly, my love is the pinnacle of human achievement.</div>
Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-74115543602063531542013-06-04T18:57:00.000-07:002013-06-05T14:47:31.238-07:00Facebook allows sexually exploitative pages to stay up.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Oaky, so Facebook deletes and bans pictures of women breastfeeding, or of mastectomy scars/cover-ups, yet leaves up pages promoting rape, violence against women, pictures of nearly-naked breasts that aren't breastfeeding and show more skin than the breastfeeding pictures, and <i>this</i> page, that's </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">dedicated to one of India's largest red-light districts, which is well-known for being made up mostly of underage girls and sex-trafficking victims. It has EXPLICIT photos of blowjobs and sex. Some photos have been up since before 2012.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />And Facebook refuses to take it down.<br /><br />Here's the Tumblr post and screencaps. Reblog the hell out of this, my friends, and report it to Facebook like crazy. My friends and I are reporting it as "I don't think should be on Facebook" and then "Sexually explicit content."<br /><br /><a href="http://thehistoryoftheladder.tumblr.com/post/52181800196/this-is-the-response-i-received-from-facebook">http://thehistoryoftheladder.tumblr.com/post/52181800196/this-is-the-response-i-received-from-facebook</a></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><b>Update #1: Here's an article on the website <a href="http://jezebel.com/" target="_blank">Jezebel</a> and the author's Tweet about it.</b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><a href="http://powderroom.jezebel.com/nsfw-facebook-says-that-page-trafficking-women-doesnt-511363941">http://powderroom.jezebel.com/nsfw-facebook-says-that-page-trafficking-women-doesnt-511363941</a></span><br />
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<a href="https://twitter.com/SlayBelle/status/342119323546050561">https://twitter.com/SlayBelle/status/342119323546050561</a><br />
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<b>Update #2: Jezebel ran the above story on their front page, and it got into the <a href="http://www.dailydot.com/news/facebook-red-light-district-page-wtf/" target="_blank">Daily Dot</a>.</b><br />
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Minutes later, the page was deleted.<br />
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However, at least <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sonagachi-Lover/390887664338305?fref=ts" target="_blank">two</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sonagachi/518820264820273?fref=ts" target="_blank">other</a> pages advertising Sonagachi are still up, albeit with less explicit photos. That doesn't change the fact that many of the women <i>and underage girls</i> in Sonagachi are sex-trafficking victims, and I'm pretty sure "advertizing prostitutes - willing or not" is a major violation of Facebook's TOS.<br />
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If only they had pictures of some of them breast-feeding. >.<</div>
Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-6675166095788391272013-06-03T15:43:00.000-07:002014-07-23T17:16:09.745-07:00A Queer Guide to Islamic Modesty<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Note: If you're just joining the parade of ultra-cool awesome that is my blog, I'm queer-friendly. LGBTQIA all up in this bizniz. I'm asexual, possibly demisexual - it takes a deep emotion connection before I'm anywhere near comfortable having sex, but I'd just as soon not have it. I'm panromantic - I can, and do, fall in love regardless of gender or sex. I identify as queer, and I reject what mainstream interpretations of Islam say about same-sex relationships and non-gender binary people.</span></i><br>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I'm not going to argue this. I don't need a lecture. I don't need it pointed out that mainstream interpretations of Islam hold that it's a sin to be anything but heterosexual. I'll go into detail later, but don't bother commenting if you're just going to concern-troll about my soul or tell me I can't be non-heterosexual and Muslim (sexuality and faith aren't mutually exclusive, I mean really, that's ridiculous) or just squeal that I'm wrong. Just ... just don't.</span></i><br>
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So, you're queer and you're Muslim. Awesome! Welcome to the club! Your secret decoder ring is in the mail, along with an illustrated guide to the secret handshake - it's complicated.</div>
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Or maybe you're not one, the other, or both, and you just want to know how to navigate our super-gay modern world successfully.</div>
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If you're wondering if it's possible to be both queer and Muslim, and maybe thinking that Sodom and Gomorra (the most popular citation for gay-is-a-sin ridiculousness) were destroyed for having a gay population, let me just ask you this: is it more likely that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodom_and_Gomorrah#Historicity" target="_blank">God lobbed an asteroid at them</a> for allowing consenting, adult, loving same-sex relationships, or because they were an inhospitable bunch of completely immoral people who were trying to <i>rape angels</i>? Does God get pissier at consensual relationships or rape?</div>
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It's up to<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> you to decide for yourself, but my money's on rape being considered more asteroid-worthy than consenting sex. And if anyone thinks that rape is less heinous than being gay, go jump off a cliff because you're a terrible human being.</span><br>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Another theory is that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">if you look at the original translations of the old religous documents, it wasn't rape that pissed God off about Sodom and Gomorra, it's that men were having <i>unprotected anal sex</i> with other men, then then bringing diseases home to their wives. G</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">od wanted to stop the epidemic that this was causing, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">and pretty much killing all the disease vectors was the most efficient way of doing that.</span></span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Which is <i>not</i> to say that God was against gay sex - G</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">od was against unprotected gay sex while pretending to be straight and infecting unknowing partners, and the monks who transcribed all this didn't understand that God was talking about STDs being spread by unsafe sexual practices.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Anyway, presenting:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>Larissa's Queer Guide to Islamic Modesty</u></span></div>
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First, let me define some terms for those readers not familiar with LGBT*QIA vernacular.</div>
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<i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT" target="_blank">The alphabet soup just mentioned:</a></i> Stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans(gender/sexual), Queer/Questioning, Intersexed, Asexual. Basically, anything not heterosexual or cisgendered.</div>
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<i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgendered" target="_blank">Cisgendered:</a></i> Also <i>cissexual.</i> When one's physical sex is the same as one's mental gender.</div>
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<i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex" target="_blank">Sex:</a></i> The genetic identification of sex - breasts/vagina for women, penis/testicles for men, variations thereof for intersexed people.</div>
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<i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity" target="_blank">Gender:</a> </i>One's mental sex; the self-identification of being male, female, both, or neither.</div>
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<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex" style="font-style: italic;" target="_blank">Intersexed:</a> Also <i>hermaphrodite, </i>but that's an outdated term so don't use it. Physical characteristics of both sexes.</div>
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<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender" style="font-style: italic;" target="_blank">Trans:</a> Transgender or transexual. When one's gender doesn't match one's sex, i.e., physically and genetically female but mentally male.</div>
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<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer" style="font-style: italic;" target="_blank">Queer:</a> Somewhat controversial umbrella term for anyone not heterosexual or cisgendered.</div>
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<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality" style="font-style: italic;" target="_blank">Asexual:</a> Having a natural lack of sexual attraction to others, with varying degrees of libido. Not to be confused with celibacy or being abstinent - which involve not acting on a present desire for sex, as opposed to not having that desire in the first place.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji7CiEDX_0buhA2sditcPN6ow83gCkdjcw-eQcZhpfNvxI4_f8czCcRfyOgqFTIxYrn1tCDA7PoHY8kfONn_-Xhxzfw79KZ5bJqHL3mPc3sMYaqQw5TBHuCdbcJvHerCNHe8Vge-2CBmGr/s1600/the_more_you_know2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji7CiEDX_0buhA2sditcPN6ow83gCkdjcw-eQcZhpfNvxI4_f8czCcRfyOgqFTIxYrn1tCDA7PoHY8kfONn_-Xhxzfw79KZ5bJqHL3mPc3sMYaqQw5TBHuCdbcJvHerCNHe8Vge-2CBmGr/s320/the_more_you_know2.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">My childhood © <a href="http://www.nbc.com/" target="_blank">NBC</a> and the early 90s</span></i></div>
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The Qur'an assumes that, in general, people are going to be attracted to the opposite sex - which most people are.</div>
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How do the modesty rules apply when dealing with queer and trans people, then? <i>Technically</i>, because the Qur'an doesn't mention having to cover my sexy bits around women but having to cover them around men, I don't have to cover around lesbians/bi/pan/poly women, who will find me sexually attractive 'cause I'm totes hawt, but I <i>do</i> have to cover around gay men, who will <i>not</i> find me sexually attractive because I present as female, both physically and mentally. With trans folk, it can be more confusing.</div>
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But, if read more generally as the Qur'an saying <i>cover up around people who will find you sexually attractive</i>, then you should cover as much as is required for being around the opposite gender.</div>
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Men and women both should ideally wear loose clothing. Sorry, dudes, those super-tight muscle shirts just don't make the cut.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBm9itepWAEzVhsp3qnIMsjP1EKs1-rdmLuijB0YLPUCNsXyXb4t6-bsZGZi-pVitzl9bIXnGcmVcf6vig5C_s6ZRJ8ZqD_2LZt2NrSVPaOJ1fkdthn7h3TJum9-cg96d-2qVluRUGuVpz/s1600/proper-dress-required.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBm9itepWAEzVhsp3qnIMsjP1EKs1-rdmLuijB0YLPUCNsXyXb4t6-bsZGZi-pVitzl9bIXnGcmVcf6vig5C_s6ZRJ8ZqD_2LZt2NrSVPaOJ1fkdthn7h3TJum9-cg96d-2qVluRUGuVpz/s320/proper-dress-required.jpg" width="207"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">For shame. Cover yourselves!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Public shaming © <a href="http://141characters.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">141characters</a></span></div>
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For men, their <i>awrah</i> (the parts they have to cover when in public) is the same no matter what setting - from the navel to knee. Most societies - Muslim-run and not - have extended this to encompass the torso as well.</div>
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For women, their private (amongst family and other women) <i>awrah</i> is the same as men's <i>awrah</i>, but their public one is generally said to consist of everything except for their hands and faces, and for some scholars, their feet. There is much lively debate on this, but that's the general consensus so let's go with that to start with, and y'all can adjust it as you see fit.</div>
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Navigating modesty requirements in a queer setting also poses unique issues - do I cover if they're bisexual? What if they're a woman, but transitioned from a man (a transwoman)? What if they're a transwoman but are attracted to women? A transwoman who is attracted to men? A transman attracted to women, or a transman attracted to men? What if they're asexual? What do you do about romantic attraction?</div>
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My basic rule for sexual attraction is: if you <i>know</i> they're attracted to your gender, then cover your public <i>awrah</i> around them. If you <i>don't know for </i><b style="font-style: italic;">absolute sure</b>, then don't, unless you can find a non-rude way of asking, and every way I can think of right now is rude.</div>
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Romantic attraction is trickier. Personally, I'm never going to want to have sex with you, but I might fall in love with your during the course of our friendship. Do I always cover around everyone, or do the rules for modesty only apply to sexual attraction?</div>
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I'm inclined to think the latter. From what I know, the modesty rules are meant to keep sexual attraction at a minimum, so that mutual respect and solid relationships can be fostered without the urge to hump like rabbits clouding people's judgements.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW8HBod6xTmxY5uoTgbcP0Xs9aGZ49wjSYtT9pzawTT3vHEd1BW-TQ_zJnYhS3GCOlnYvcIwuSjxRs8K9lEsjs3CgCx_0s2cjzkxXoiLpVSTU6scN138SO6aYXlQg9ncTYbgNwFOS4X6jK/s1600/tumblr_lga12hyS2L1qzhvb8o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW8HBod6xTmxY5uoTgbcP0Xs9aGZ49wjSYtT9pzawTT3vHEd1BW-TQ_zJnYhS3GCOlnYvcIwuSjxRs8K9lEsjs3CgCx_0s2cjzkxXoiLpVSTU6scN138SO6aYXlQg9ncTYbgNwFOS4X6jK/s320/tumblr_lga12hyS2L1qzhvb8o1_500.gif" width="320"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Awww, bunnies!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Adorable bunnies who don't want to see your sexin's © <a href="http://portraitspatates.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">portraitspatates</a></span></div>
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Another thing to consider is if you have to cover because<i> you</i> are attracted to <i>their</i> gender, regardless of their attraction to you. Let us consider the following hadith:</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Once a blind man came into the house of Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam). The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) told Ummul Mumineen Aisha (radi Allahu anha) to go behind a curtain. She replied, “O Prophet of Allah, he is blind. How can he see us?” The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “He may be blind, but you are not blind.” [Ahmad]</span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Full disclosure: I am <i>very</i> suspicious about ahadith. There are a lot of fabricated ones, and people mix up ones meant for a particular time/place/situation/person with ones meant to apply to all times/places/situations/people, and often don't include the cultural context - and sometimes there's a mistranslation that screws up the hadith (the whole siwak/shirak thing in regards to allegedly being able to<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKMPVpjYrN4" target="_blank"> beat one's wife</a> {it starts at 16:50, but the whole thing is worth watching} comes to mind).</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">That said, this hadith - while talking to one of the Prophet's wives (who were under different rules than other women on account of being the wives of the Prophet of God) and refers to an actual barrier and not a piece of clothing - has been interpreted as <a href="http://dailyhadith.adaptivesolutionsinc.com/hadith/You-Are-Not-Blind.htm" target="_blank">forbidding all visual contact with non-related men</a>, but can <i>also</i> be read as remindin<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">g people that</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"> they need to be modest not on</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">ly because of the attraction they may provoke in others, but also to limit their own personal temptations.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">By limiting your own temptations, you remind yourself that modesty begins inside you, and is a projection of not only how others see you, but of how you see yourself.</span><br>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Or, you know, it could just be something that was directed at the Prophet's wives and <i>only</i> the Prophet's wives.</span><br>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So that's it. That's my long-winded post. I hope you enjoyed it - and if you're queer and Muslim or considering converting, and you need someone to talk to about it, feel free to contact me for resources and no-judgement support.</span></div>
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Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-23142336791438796272013-05-16T01:16:00.003-07:002013-05-16T01:33:01.300-07:00What Feminism Means to Me: An Essay<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI3fpE6w7lX9swuugcSdl_T7QQbYO7xyiy9ZzODdfN-_uu96TWdr6CG_4zT-laEkNhlaQ_NtJLSS6iJhOrJnXDcSV0idUuTPKgCzsFN6tK2KQ3LoJXlvEecE8TInKzt8Pl4g9hvNsEhoqe/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.55.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="89" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI3fpE6w7lX9swuugcSdl_T7QQbYO7xyiy9ZzODdfN-_uu96TWdr6CG_4zT-laEkNhlaQ_NtJLSS6iJhOrJnXDcSV0idUuTPKgCzsFN6tK2KQ3LoJXlvEecE8TInKzt8Pl4g9hvNsEhoqe/s320/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.55.58+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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I got to "What is feminism?" and had a minor aneurysm because WHO THE HELL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT FEMINISM IS, GOOD GOD YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH MY <b>SISTER</b> and then I finished reading and felt silly.<br />
<br />
I feel silly a lot.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I thought that I'd make a new blog post about What Feminism Means to Me: An Essay. So here it is, under the cut, what feminism means to me. It's an essay.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Basically, to me, feminism is about dragons.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHSxdokpdrGHssXbJbylzAFsZPU1znPPTbUEazC3_6onHdmxZ1hD1pAs4VSCJfV8N9Z5nTH9yBS4UlxlFuBp7inw7tyJBskQn9jgpY6pXFCcG12rTRB3P60bRKdq1bj-EN3LM6gZTgBg3K/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.52.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHSxdokpdrGHssXbJbylzAFsZPU1znPPTbUEazC3_6onHdmxZ1hD1pAs4VSCJfV8N9Z5nTH9yBS4UlxlFuBp7inw7tyJBskQn9jgpY6pXFCcG12rTRB3P60bRKdq1bj-EN3LM6gZTgBg3K/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.52.58+PM.png" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Feminism: brought to you by someone on <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Tumblr</a></span></div>
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Now, I know what you're thinking. What does feminism have to do with dragons?</div>
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Everything, I tell you. Everything.</div>
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But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me explain you a thing.</div>
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There are a lot of feminist theories - we've had four waves of feminism thus far.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEG-6Ydr2dOEjarYAy0WtzK_9k39U8Sb3hbnBsOw9elFBE0fcn1CWVhy8tueqWhxinCbYkR7ASNbsFi6v1I7nMqbODe_rZTUyuOaaGXijj4a-kgZyoUlhX4umaIoz-k95ZQ7dVF4LjOmis/s1600/honolulu-tsunami.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEG-6Ydr2dOEjarYAy0WtzK_9k39U8Sb3hbnBsOw9elFBE0fcn1CWVhy8tueqWhxinCbYkR7ASNbsFi6v1I7nMqbODe_rZTUyuOaaGXijj4a-kgZyoUlhX4umaIoz-k95ZQ7dVF4LjOmis/s320/honolulu-tsunami.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Picture: FEMINISM</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Feminism © <a href="http://seandavey.com/">seandavey.com</a></span></div>
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They've ranged from simply "Hey, you men are citizens and you can vote, but we women are <i>also</i> citizens yet <i>we</i> can't vote - we want to be able to vote, because we're citizens, too!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUEH0v1dAlQmYcZ0cbe4bR3Q1oVCPqKtzRtYUgyp_rN0N6Ja9DV5MctHOrc50eze25AttKOCUt8m2sbAZy61PbWu43Q2Upm-1u9Ow-fQ_1izqWRZ8OhhxkuiOduXMX9D72uqtej5xUOSFc/s1600/imowow-org.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUEH0v1dAlQmYcZ0cbe4bR3Q1oVCPqKtzRtYUgyp_rN0N6Ja9DV5MctHOrc50eze25AttKOCUt8m2sbAZy61PbWu43Q2Upm-1u9Ow-fQ_1izqWRZ8OhhxkuiOduXMX9D72uqtej5xUOSFc/s320/imowow-org.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Image © <a href="http://imowow.org/">imowow.org</a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">It's like they think they're <i>people.</i></span></div>
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to "Hey, we want to be able to work and make our own money so we're not financially dependent on men - and we want to be able to make our own reproductive choices, too!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdLTWOgPobofD8DhsOW1aUf9JKioOHyzrL0pZjEDfj-6XVzubTC7IPsIx92vT12R_douGuxAfGH6stkoCbh1azMOqF0wVJ4U-NoYuvT0fJpVuALVw80uGeOY-MCW2mjzV_lgaC1jqQeg-u/s1600/journalofamericanhistory-org.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdLTWOgPobofD8DhsOW1aUf9JKioOHyzrL0pZjEDfj-6XVzubTC7IPsIx92vT12R_douGuxAfGH6stkoCbh1azMOqF0wVJ4U-NoYuvT0fJpVuALVw80uGeOY-MCW2mjzV_lgaC1jqQeg-u/s1600/journalofamericanhistory-org.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Image © <a href="http://journalofamericanhistory.org/">journalofamericanhistory.org</a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equal_Rights_Amendment" target="_blank">ERA</a>, first introduced in 1923, would have guaranteed legal equality for women.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">It has never been ratified.</span></div>
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to "HEY DOUCHEWAFFLES, <u>THE HANDMAID'S TALE</u> WASN'T A FUCKING HOW-TO GUIDE."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHSxdokpdrGHssXbJbylzAFsZPU1znPPTbUEazC3_6onHdmxZ1hD1pAs4VSCJfV8N9Z5nTH9yBS4UlxlFuBp7inw7tyJBskQn9jgpY6pXFCcG12rTRB3P60bRKdq1bj-EN3LM6gZTgBg3K/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.52.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHSxdokpdrGHssXbJbylzAFsZPU1znPPTbUEazC3_6onHdmxZ1hD1pAs4VSCJfV8N9Z5nTH9yBS4UlxlFuBp7inw7tyJBskQn9jgpY6pXFCcG12rTRB3P60bRKdq1bj-EN3LM6gZTgBg3K/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.52.58+PM.png" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">And thus Feminism Dragon was born.</span></div>
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All of this has absolutely <strike>nothing</strike> everything to do with dragons.<br />
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You see, the heart of feminism is not, as some have claimed, obtaining the equal treatment of women in society. It is not, in fact, about securing equal protections under law for women, nor is it about getting rid of patriarchal notions of gender and gender roles that inhibit women <i>and men</i> and creates a false gender binary (seriously, there's at least <a href="http://capone.mtsu.edu/phollowa/5sexes.html" target="_blank">five different sexes</a> - according to <i>Science</i>) that excludes people, such as transgendered and non-gendered and gender-fluid people, from social acceptance - and we're all aware that if you're not socially acceptable, you're far more prone to bullying, being denied employment or housing or medical treatment, and <a href="http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/gay-bullying-statistics.html" target="_blank">generally being treated like shit</a>.<br />
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It's not, as some have claimed, about making sure that women are as much a part of society as men are --- that <i>anyone who is not a straight, white, cisgendered male</i> is as much a part of society as the straight, white (if you're in a European/European descended country) cisgendered men are.<br />
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Feminism, to me, is about burning down men's crops and feasting on their flaming corpses.<br />
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Because feminism.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHSxdokpdrGHssXbJbylzAFsZPU1znPPTbUEazC3_6onHdmxZ1hD1pAs4VSCJfV8N9Z5nTH9yBS4UlxlFuBp7inw7tyJBskQn9jgpY6pXFCcG12rTRB3P60bRKdq1bj-EN3LM6gZTgBg3K/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.52.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHSxdokpdrGHssXbJbylzAFsZPU1znPPTbUEazC3_6onHdmxZ1hD1pAs4VSCJfV8N9Z5nTH9yBS4UlxlFuBp7inw7tyJBskQn9jgpY6pXFCcG12rTRB3P60bRKdq1bj-EN3LM6gZTgBg3K/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-15+at+11.52.58+PM.png" /></a></div>
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Note: Feminists are also well-known to be velociraptors. We travel in packs, and while focusing all of your raging misogyny on one of us, you never see the others <i>until we're eating you alive</i>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_adx2vOPIjytvuV7zI069ShTYCqmPPM29GizYOlZ-0UzDgUzNZPd74OuypAdTbAdyDcFUs71mltnYbhxxsaOtwhrzM5Bi_EFvOfOG4f6IDbPMgMWM5e0-WIGPHwTO5-W1nA8gg-ndogbe/s1600/tumblr_m9v4wegL7B1qbhmtm.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_adx2vOPIjytvuV7zI069ShTYCqmPPM29GizYOlZ-0UzDgUzNZPd74OuypAdTbAdyDcFUs71mltnYbhxxsaOtwhrzM5Bi_EFvOfOG4f6IDbPMgMWM5e0-WIGPHwTO5-W1nA8gg-ndogbe/s1600/tumblr_m9v4wegL7B1qbhmtm.gif" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">You might say we're ... clever girls.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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And that, Brandi, is what feminism means to me.</div>
<br />Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-72736420567626880462013-05-15T02:35:00.000-07:002013-06-04T00:00:16.899-07:00Controversial Opinion Time<br />
And it's about <b>hijab</b>, because <b>not nearly enough people talk about hijab, amirite?!</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwTrwK_AgzPHNx5j5NyQwX10N1-yFo6bJeu4CksKJ09GB41e9NeW2b-cucJovC_drVkvFrcfo7gJZyMIw_1h5qujtGuwhID8z5jM4mKYqaW9wYxWGkRD-Ix8fLGYE_ALu32wLQnZmENQT6/s1600/hijabiWhat.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwTrwK_AgzPHNx5j5NyQwX10N1-yFo6bJeu4CksKJ09GB41e9NeW2b-cucJovC_drVkvFrcfo7gJZyMIw_1h5qujtGuwhID8z5jM4mKYqaW9wYxWGkRD-Ix8fLGYE_ALu32wLQnZmENQT6/s1600/hijabiWhat.gif" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">"You're fucking ridiculous" © <a href="http://faineemae.com/" target="_blank">Ainee</a></span></div>
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Naturally, if this doesn't apply to you then I'm not talking to you, so shhhhhhh.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIslhvRLrZ71xoptHP-W6L5XQuA-uTNhagqZHiqINSnJg4rAGDLxjZvNXl5DzAE_SpkoIWjCBPMxf48pzPLNJjoVsJ4cfcseSQ-qiJcfCfi5bfpd_CrHTTfAA1ZI0h33F1xx-GTmhN_kqp/s1600/drwhoshh.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIslhvRLrZ71xoptHP-W6L5XQuA-uTNhagqZHiqINSnJg4rAGDLxjZvNXl5DzAE_SpkoIWjCBPMxf48pzPLNJjoVsJ4cfcseSQ-qiJcfCfi5bfpd_CrHTTfAA1ZI0h33F1xx-GTmhN_kqp/s320/drwhoshh.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Picture from <a href="http://uproxx.com/">uproxx.com</a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0000ee;"><br /></span></div>
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Basically, if you don't like hijab, don't wear it.</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://uproxx.com/"></a></span><br />
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Seriously.<br />
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If you force yourself to do something you don't like then you're going to come to resent it, unless Stockholm Syndrome kicks in, and liking something because you have no other viable options is not a good thing. If you come to resent doing something you don't like, you potentially end up hating the person/thing that says you have to do it.<br />
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In this case, that's God. Resenting God over hijab is not one of the best ideas ever had.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7HqU3YijBI5VMbq-T0AR_fqBuGhGyPI1PJg_zhs7ah2Lrpu98XzeGt5L83CbZ6zwHptkHlnYzocpFMcuYq_1wpewYqqXhlJ5_HW9b3-imhh-yZuefD-lapU6NaC8XtYpaJdVISawEyMzF/s1600/tumblr_mcudz672f41rurv44.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7HqU3YijBI5VMbq-T0AR_fqBuGhGyPI1PJg_zhs7ah2Lrpu98XzeGt5L83CbZ6zwHptkHlnYzocpFMcuYq_1wpewYqqXhlJ5_HW9b3-imhh-yZuefD-lapU6NaC8XtYpaJdVISawEyMzF/s320/tumblr_mcudz672f41rurv44.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">It turns out you can find anything on Tumblr.</span></div>
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My proposed solution? Don't wear hijab until you want to. Start slow. It's ok to wear it for a while and then take it off. Once you decide to start testing it out, it's not a always a straight trajectory from "I don't wear hijab because I don't like it" to "I wear hijab all the time and I love it."<br />
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And yes, wearing hijab is about pleasing God, but there are a lot of different interpretations when it comes to hijab and the one thing that is <i>not</i> debatable in the Qur'an is the command for <i>modesty.</i> Equating a headscarf with modesty, and thus worthiness and purity and piety, is problematic on about a million levels and three different star systems.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim8QLCNOz2nXFtwC9J6EMeqKiMVDl_VHy5qC0TMQccrra9rnEEY4p_OKSEeW_-_zHxjaN8uNd_XHKZzQpeulEl3MIdAOBpbrUUXzAmnDYoMl3eJ4oIiYWsFCTqaXHXijccP_5vA_AqfDtK/s1600/awfullies.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim8QLCNOz2nXFtwC9J6EMeqKiMVDl_VHy5qC0TMQccrra9rnEEY4p_OKSEeW_-_zHxjaN8uNd_XHKZzQpeulEl3MIdAOBpbrUUXzAmnDYoMl3eJ4oIiYWsFCTqaXHXijccP_5vA_AqfDtK/s320/awfullies.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">This shaming nonsense © <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="irc_ho" style="cursor: pointer; margin-right: -2px; padding-right: 2px; text-decoration: underline;"><a class="irc_hol irc_itl" data-ved="0CAQQjB0" href="http://jojobvlgari.wikispaces.com/I+love+ISLAM" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">jojobvlgari.wikispaces.com</a></span></span></span></div>
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<i>Wearing hijab does not make you intrinsically more <b>or less</b> valuable, pious, or good and <b>the above picture is lying to you.</b></i><br />
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I wholeheartedly support women (including transwomen) who want to wear hijab.<br />
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I also wholeheartedly support women who do <i>not</i> want to wear hijab.<br />
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But <i>a woman's worth is not dictated by how much clothing she wears.</i> <b>Yes,</b> Islam has a dress code <i>for both genders</i> (but seriously, who the fuck enforces hijab for men*?), but the Prophet, peace, <i>never shamed a woman for how she dressed.</i> Neither does God. God does not say "Women who veil are pure and pious and awesome and women who don't are dirty whores who deserve what they get" because neither God nor the Prophet are raging, misogynistic assholes.<br />
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The belief that only Good Muslim Women wear hijab leads to slut-shaming the women who choose not to cover, for any number of reasons, and it's bullshit. Slut-shaming is bullshit, my friends. Your worth is not defined by what clothes you do or do not wear. There are many reasons for veiling and there are many reasons for not veiling. If it's not something you're comfortable with, then don't do it until you <i>do</i> feel comfortable with it - or comfortable enough to start that process because I've worn hijab since before I converted and I'm here to tell you that <i>it is one of the most difficult things you can do.</i> It makes you visibly Muslim and therefore makes you a target for bullies and aggression and sexual harassment <i>and <b>yes,</b> hijabis get sexually harassed all the fucking time</i> because questions from strangers like "Can you have sex?" or "Why do you cover up? You're so pretty - you gotta show that off!" or "Masha'Allah, sister, you look so beautiful in hijab; are you married?" <i>are the very definition of sexual harassment and don't let anyone tell you otherwise because that's some fucking </i><b style="font-style: italic;">unwanted</b><i> and </i><b style="font-style: italic;">unwarranted sexual attention</b> <i>right there and <b>no one</b> has the right to comment on how you look or what you do and judge you on how <b>they</b> want you to behave or look</i> and wearing hijab prevented me from getting a job for an entire fucking <i>year</i> so don't let <i>anyone</i> tell you it's a piece of cake and you'll always be filled with God's glowing grace because that's a fucking <i>lie</i>.<br />
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It <i>can</i> be a piece of cake, and it often is. But not always. There are times when I forget that I'm wearing my scarf and get really confused when someone asks me what I'm wearing. I'm all "Uh ... clothes? I think?" Or they ask me what's on my head and I'm all "OMFG A SPIDER IT'S A SPIDER ISN'T IT HOLY SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT GET IT OFF GET IT OFF AAAAAAAARGH BURN IT WITH FIRE KILL ME NOW OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!!!!!!!"<br />
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And then I realize they mean my scarf and it's pretty embarrassing once I stop flailing around on the ground.<br />
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But then there are the stares. The random yells from cars. Every 9/11. Every time something bad happens and it's blamed on Muslims and I have to wonder if this is the time that I'll be assaulted because I'm visibly Muslim. Will the customer who insists that "That's too bad; sex is great" when he asks me if I have sex and I tell him no (really should have kicked him out, actually) wait around for me after work to show me how great sex really is (and by that I mean rape me)? If I try to get another job, will it take me another year and having to take off my hijab in order to get it, to ensure that the hijab doesn't keep me jobless?<br />
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Wearing hijab isn't easy and it isn't an easy ticket to faith and if you don't like it, or you feel unsafe wearing it, then by God don't wear it until you do and you do. Faith is a process, my darlings. You don't have to do everything at once. A lot of you, sisters, have had very bad experiences with faith and hijab. They've been forced on you through family, peer, and community pressures. You've been compared to pearls and uncovered meat & candy if you don't wear hijab, like you're no good if you don't wear it and no one will want you (and the blatant objectification inherent in those analogies makes me sick) if you're not covered and that God will hate you if you're not covered.<br />
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But faith is, above all, a very personal journey. It's not easy, and I may be wrong but I very firmly believe that if you practice an aspect of faith grudgingly, whether it's you forcing it on yourself or someone else, you're going to come to resent it and resent your faith and God and turn away from it all.<br />
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So, basically ... Wear hijab when <i>you</i> are ready to take that plunge. Take baby steps with it, if you need to. Remember that <i>your safety comes first</i>, so you don't have to wear it if you think you'll be harmed because of it. Wearing it does not make you better than women who don't, and not wearing it does not make you worse than women who do. Don't let anyone shame you for your choices - they're <i>your</i> choices, and only God can judge you.<br />
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And if anyone else tries, sick a fucking T-Rex on them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBdSIqc7MMuegT8W9mWKnHdAbccyJ1WdF0czBe6znowTTh9op-fkuPbLSh91cRpvObahmQm6ff9qB5aX7FVKV4cfI0L-7nktnG_45_H1xPRHiel794vK5Tzzw211pR-bjpSt9wXXNyddyh/s1600/rawrmotherfuckers.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBdSIqc7MMuegT8W9mWKnHdAbccyJ1WdF0czBe6znowTTh9op-fkuPbLSh91cRpvObahmQm6ff9qB5aX7FVKV4cfI0L-7nktnG_45_H1xPRHiel794vK5Tzzw211pR-bjpSt9wXXNyddyh/s320/rawrmotherfuckers.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">"Rawr, motherfuckers." - Tumblr</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">* Me. I do. I enforce hijab for men.</span>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-88009039209407636932013-05-04T21:41:00.002-07:002013-05-04T21:44:26.365-07:00THIS FUCKING SHIT RIGHT HERE<br />
Because seriously. THIS FUCKING SHIT RIGHT HERE.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9xgRvWrjb2C37weNoQWObDDDhEeruluwE6E5mQQrtWSyVlf1tEIA5gniboywIiEQqdTLAZSIXjv1womNti3PmIzjXj8sy9vMHsPp_Yuht5cSWXrizQIP0RR1aFrf-io9HU6i1P7HA5zKK/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-04+at+12.44.19+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9xgRvWrjb2C37weNoQWObDDDhEeruluwE6E5mQQrtWSyVlf1tEIA5gniboywIiEQqdTLAZSIXjv1womNti3PmIzjXj8sy9vMHsPp_Yuht5cSWXrizQIP0RR1aFrf-io9HU6i1P7HA5zKK/s320/Screen+shot+2013-05-04+at+12.44.19+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Photo © <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sexisnotacontract/posts/310001292464024" target="_blank">fucking assholes</a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Warning: Sometimes I Feel Things Very Strongly and start swearing. This behavior is absolutely normal. Do not be alarmed.</span></div>
<br />
My reply below. BECAUSE THIS FUCKING SHIT RIGHT HERE.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
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Hi, I'm a Muslim woman. If all of you ~free~ women would care to notice me and listen, I'd like to say a few things. That is, if you can hear me over the sound of ~freedom~ and ~choice~ rushing through your veins.<br />
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First, when you deny women the choice to wear the niqabs and chadors show in the photo, you are no better than people who deny women the choice to wear shorts and tank-tops. You are still DENYING WOMEN THE CHOICE.<br />
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Second, those are not burqas - they are wearing niqabs and chadors, which, like all outer garments, are ONLY required when the women will be seen by non-related men. If you are going to malign my faith and everyone woman in it - all in the name of ~freedom~, of course, which always makes it ok to ridicule others - then I would appreciate it if you could, if you're not too busy spreading ~freedom (to wear only what YOU want us to wear)~, please learn the appropriate terms for the various types of clothing that Muslim women wear.<br />
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(Second-and-a-half, I will bet you anything that underneath their chadors, the women in this photo are wearing cute tops, skirts, jeans, and shorts of varying length, because as noted in my first point - which you may have skimmed because you have ~freedom~ to spread, and I understand that - women are only required to wear these outfits when they'll be seen by non-related men).<br />
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Third - and this is very important, so please stop petting your bald eagles and congratulating yourselves on how your culture is so much better than a culture you clearly don't care to learn about - not EVERY Muslim country - or culture - is the same. The Uighers of China have a different society and culture (including female imams) than Saudi Arabia does, which has a different society and culture than Malaysia does, which is different from Jordan, which is different from Germany (who also have female imams), which is different from Yemen, from Uganda, from Morocco, from America, from New Zealand ... NO ONE CULTURE represents "true Islam" because Islam isn't supposed to be one-size-fits-all. It's supposed to take the best of each culture and make it better, and get rid of the bad parts. This picture is from ONE PART of the Muslim world. I guarantee you that if you took the time from digging your ignorant trench (a tiring effort, I know) and looked up how Islam is practiced - and how Muslim women dress - in various countries, you'll find everything from bikinis to full (and real) burkas, sometimes in the same population. One picture does not - CAN NOT - represent us all.<br />
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Fourth, there ARE issues with misogyny amongst Muslims. There are also issues with misogyny in the United States, in Great Britain, and in the West in general. I direct you to the Steubenville rape trial if you need more evidence of how women are really viewed in the Land of the Free. However, this comes from the latent misogyny already in place before Islam, cherry-picked and misinterpreted verses from the Qur'an, and misinterpreted and often outright fabricated reports of what the Prophet Muhammad had to say about women - which, if you care to further hear an opinion that, while different from yours, has spent more time studying this issue, was that women and men were equal, had equal rights, and that women were neither slaves, nor property, nor sex objects.<br />
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Fifth, the context for this picture is missing. It may well be that these women are marching in order to protest being told they have to stay indoors and not be seen (and the outfits that they're wearing may be mandated by law). They may be protesting rape and misogyny - we don't know because the context has been stripped away in favor of intolerance, ignorance, shock, and righteous and holier-than-thou anger.<br />
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If I may humbly submit my credentials for correcting this picture and much of the ignorance I've seen displayed, I've been Muslim since early 2010, having studied it since early 2001, and it wasn't until late 2009 - when I was 98% sure I was going to convert - that I talked with other Muslims, who gave me that extra 2% of sureness.<br />
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What drew me to Islam were the very things that people claim Islam DOESN'T have - a strong sense of justice (for humans, animal and environmental welfare, and social justice), equality for men and women, common sense, personal responsibility vs. blaming things on the Devil or other people, and not having to go through an intermediary in order to get to God.<br />
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I live in America and I do not in any way pretend that Islam is practiced perfectly all around the world, or that there aren't people twisting it around in order to oppress people. However, I have learned enough to not judge something just by one picture of it, and if I hear only bad news about a thing, to go look for another side to compare it to.<br />
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But you all don't have to do that because, you know, ~freedom~.<br />
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<br />Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-54269512270792741682013-04-06T09:10:00.001-07:002014-07-23T17:19:05.179-07:00Converts vs. Cultural BackgroundsI touched very briefly on this subject in my last post, and a good friend of mine reminded me that I had wanted to include it, but it really does deserve its own post.<br>
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Religions, as my friend noted, have as many cultural traditions as they do scriptural traditions, and if you don't come from the same cultural background as the adherents of your new faith, it can be, and is, incredibly alienating. All too often I see converts - honestly, sincerely trying to follow their new faith as best they can - take on the <i>cultural</i> traditions of the Muslims around them, mistaking them for <i>religious</i> traditions.<br>
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Wearing an abaya and hijab or a jelbaba and keffiyeh -<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqzrd8Fc6sVLzBSN7bNEgsrKOlQ-dIE9r88brcCHfyJhJULwQlaiqGhIdsO-Pm6TlO1XmM4Gp713CdxnOhzZHCm_WGvkB86QvCj1BnhkWdY30mbyGsMKt8WiwyLNw5B9Pl7yGzeZWK2ABR/s1600/Corbis-42-23954742.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqzrd8Fc6sVLzBSN7bNEgsrKOlQ-dIE9r88brcCHfyJhJULwQlaiqGhIdsO-Pm6TlO1XmM4Gp713CdxnOhzZHCm_WGvkB86QvCj1BnhkWdY30mbyGsMKt8WiwyLNw5B9Pl7yGzeZWK2ABR/s320/Corbis-42-23954742.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Pictured: Not religion.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Picture © <a href="http://www.corbisimages.com/" target="_blank">Corbis Images</a></span></div>
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- or a shalwar khameez -</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj4XO90vOyOh2dVtpz7r4aBFY_wieVNVHU569HqkpA_F84fcJAJGspTXft6qnZvMcbripDroB_2n6_8VfBmxcNB5DO0YQqJQ93bNEQcmz-pYLTlJyGHhEk4dK_e8VfeJ0k1j476cLCasKy/s1600/20513-32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj4XO90vOyOh2dVtpz7r4aBFY_wieVNVHU569HqkpA_F84fcJAJGspTXft6qnZvMcbripDroB_2n6_8VfBmxcNB5DO0YQqJQ93bNEQcmz-pYLTlJyGHhEk4dK_e8VfeJ0k1j476cLCasKy/s320/20513-32.jpg" width="213"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Pictured: Also not religion.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Picture © <a href="http://www.buynx.com/" target="_blank">BuyNx</a></span></div>
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- instead of pants or a skirt and long-sleeved top -<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1qeRYUlncu-KiSUTa4VxLkgdhZDENNR_ESzffj5GmdPM1ZRj9jnAnijSdYxI6ov4qu2F5yUKne720Oppon0wsh4NnALW1FX3aodjoIjn70NA70guLQrReZ5V8LyZVG1-5K-u_IXULpsiy/s1600/amen-family-pictures31.jpe" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1qeRYUlncu-KiSUTa4VxLkgdhZDENNR_ESzffj5GmdPM1ZRj9jnAnijSdYxI6ov4qu2F5yUKne720Oppon0wsh4NnALW1FX3aodjoIjn70NA70guLQrReZ5V8LyZVG1-5K-u_IXULpsiy/s320/amen-family-pictures31.jpe" width="226"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Pictured: Still not religion.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Picture © <a href="http://www.clutchmagonline.com/" target="_blank">Clutch Mag Online</a></span></div>
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- doesn't mean that you're following Islamic dress codes. You may very well be - <i>but the origin of the outfit itself doesn't make it Islamic</i>.<br>
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Once you convert, you're Muslim. Or Hindu. Or Christian. Or Jewish. Or whatever you've converted to. And a lot of the faiths in the world have strong cultural connections, connections that sometimes overshadow the religious part of them, but you don't have to wash away all of your culture once you convert, nor should you, and if anyone tries to tell you that you have to, kick them in the shins. Tell them I said it was ok. I'm Queen of the Muslims, after all. <a href="http://hijabiwaitress.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-muslim-perspective.html" target="_blank">We have those, right?</a><br>
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All you have done in converting is take on the religious beliefs of that faith system. <i>That is all.</i> You do not have to change your dress to another culture's style. You do not have to change the food you eat*. You do not have to change your name**. You do not have to take on the <i>cultural attributes</i> of your new faith. You can bring macaroni and cheese to the pot-luck <i>iftar</i> (dinner during Ramadan, when you break your fast) at the mosque even if everyone else is bringing Arab or Pakistani or Yemeni food - probably because they're Arab or Pakistani or Yemeni. If you can wear jeans and a shirt and cover the basic requirements of the Islamic dress code, then congratulations, you're dressed Islamically. If your name is Michael, you don't have to change it to Mikhail - for the love of God, that's just "Michael" in Arabic! An Arabic name is no better or worse than a German or Greek or English name - my name means "gift from God" and you can <i>not</i> tell me that <i>that</i> is an unIslamic name, regardless of the language it's from.<br>
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A thing is not inherently more Islamic simply because it's Arab/Pakistani/Malaysian/Afghan/whatever. A thing is Islamic because it is a <i>good</i> thing that follows Islamic guidelines. Which mac and cheese totally does. And is delicious.<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitjOF8AWtbf5J5k59HTb3XbQMOp2jf9nwqd3s7QtplQ9e0zjcC3p3FAqyyYOz7VjbEIkumAKSSdhcggLX0rHYDkBVmnAGZrgEh5eJJUnvHTBjmFfVL_IjCynj4TYfD-q_tgdzhieWJ6aAY/s1600/5-Classic-Macaroni-&-Chs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitjOF8AWtbf5J5k59HTb3XbQMOp2jf9nwqd3s7QtplQ9e0zjcC3p3FAqyyYOz7VjbEIkumAKSSdhcggLX0rHYDkBVmnAGZrgEh5eJJUnvHTBjmFfVL_IjCynj4TYfD-q_tgdzhieWJ6aAY/s320/5-Classic-Macaroni-&-Chs.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Haters to the right.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">© <a href="http://www.sargento.com/" target="_blank">Sargento</a></span></div>
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So be aware of this, when you're wandering around your new place of worship. Your native culture is still yours after you convert. It is no better or worse then any other culture. Leave the bad parts of it and run wild with the good. You do not have to choose between religion and culture because religion and culture are not mutually exclusive.<br>
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Are there people of different ethnicities in your new place of worship? Go up to a few and ask them all the same question, maybe about clothing requirements - can you wear American clothing, now that you're Faith X***? If they tell you that you can only wear the clothing of <i>their</i> culture, or if they insist that Mikhail is better than Michael even though they both mean the same damn thing, then <strike>run screaming</strike> nod politely, thank them for their wisdom and guidance, and do as you please - because you are <i>not</i> Pakistani/Arab/Afghan/whatever (unless you are, in which case that was a lie) and you do <i>not</i> have to abandon the culture you grew up in just to fit into your new faith (that part's still true).<br>
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Also, if you're not a convert, or have been around for a while, and you see new people, <i>for the love of God, go up and say hello</i>. They might just be new in town, or they might be new converts who have no clue what's going on, who don't have anybody to sit with during dinner or worship services, who don't have very many, if any, friends of their new faith. Make the converts feel welcome. <i>Please</i> make the converts feel welcome, and valued, and wanted. Think of us as orphans. Or immigrants to a new country. Or orphan immigrants.<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2MH_riVw66SaCCcC5UANELtjQj_3979PF3BMXOOpg6EU18OuGJpS_2D5DtxO0b-ER7e8jkX08bHzZxqPpFCMYSP6TcJxSHMnnKuP-0HJUhaSycysrQkTJ7uv-UlUJnMwBPxSl4mOxs7gs/s1600/1140100511_0422166f6c_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2MH_riVw66SaCCcC5UANELtjQj_3979PF3BMXOOpg6EU18OuGJpS_2D5DtxO0b-ER7e8jkX08bHzZxqPpFCMYSP6TcJxSHMnnKuP-0HJUhaSycysrQkTJ7uv-UlUJnMwBPxSl4mOxs7gs/s320/1140100511_0422166f6c_z.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Pictured: Coy baby fennec fox. Because immigrant orphans are depressing.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">© <a href="http://www.urlesque.com/" target="_blank">Urlesque</a></span></div>
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We need new friends and families, and we need to be made to feel welcome and wanted.<br>
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It would make Gir happy.<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvOIAArJwgbzAVu6q1TOW8hIM85qTPvn_HqaezJsoILulZcFLjfK8Tu4xOSFckDW_sTzVHpaOzOlMGj7HCphoAEbTb24UO8VaK3AqR1nO-Gc1dJjpsAKhs53qi3X1_VuGAs-LRZOYhj3A/s1600/tumblr_lvgkltNzRs1r6h95jo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvOIAArJwgbzAVu6q1TOW8hIM85qTPvn_HqaezJsoILulZcFLjfK8Tu4xOSFckDW_sTzVHpaOzOlMGj7HCphoAEbTb24UO8VaK3AqR1nO-Gc1dJjpsAKhs53qi3X1_VuGAs-LRZOYhj3A/s320/tumblr_lvgkltNzRs1r6h95jo1_500.gif" width="320"></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Pictured: Happy Gir</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">© Nickelodeon/Jhonen Vasquez</span></div>
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* Unless it's pork or alcohol, but baby steps.<br>
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** Small caveat: in Islam, if your name is one of the 99 names of God, has a negative meaning, or is the name of another god or goddess, then you need to change it - but it still doesn't have to be in Arabic.<br>
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*** Faith X is my new band name. No stealing.Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-52766156617959715652013-04-02T23:48:00.002-07:002013-04-04T21:32:01.547-07:00The Muslim Perspective<br />
It is nearly impossible to give people The Muslim Perspective. No, it <i>is</i> impossible. There <i>is</i> no single, defining narrative that tells the Muslim story, because there are over 1.5 <b>billion</b> Muslims spread out over every single country in the world and every socioeconomic status and every strength and vision of faith. We don't even have the benefit of the Islamic version of a Pope to tell us and the world What Muslims Believe. Shariah law is defined and implemented by Islamic* governments and everyday Muslims differently. Our religious laws change with the times and cultures they're applied in - and they're meant to, because one-size-fits-all is not something that an accurate faith system should claim.<br />
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The incredible diversity found in the adherents of Islam, and how we adhere to it, is one of our biggest strengths, yet it also makes it that much harder to describe us to people who don't have three hours to spare while I tell them about the differences between Sunnis, Shi'as, and Sufis (and Nation of Islam, and Five Percenters, and, and, and ...); about the differences between the main schools of thought in Islam; about <i>fiqh</i> and <i>Shariah</i> and <i>ijtihad</i> and <i>sunnah</i> and <i>fard</i> and the jumbled mess of <i>ahadith</i> and <i>ahadith</i> that were meant for people in general and <i>ahadith</i> that were meant only for a specific person or group of people and fabricated <i>ahadith</i> and strong vs. weak <i>ahadith</i> and by this time you're yelling at your screen "<i>Just give me the short version!</i>" but this <i>is</i> the short version, and how do I <i>possibly</i> begin to describe the vast intricacies of Islam when you ask me a question that has a million different answers that are each correct, even when they contradict one another? Even if I give you <i>an</i> answer, there's no way that I can give you <i>THE</i> answer because I'm not the Queen of the Muslims, no one is, and no one Muslim or group of them speaks for us all (I'm looking at you, Saudi).<br />
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I write this rant because I'm reading <i><a href="http://www.feminist.com/ourinnerlives/features_ispeak.html" target="_blank">I Speak For Myself: Voices of American Muslim Women</a>,</i> and while it's an amazing collection of essays by American Muslim women, I find myself in the very uncomfortable, privilege-exposing position of being in the minority - of not being visible at all.<br />
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I was initially very excited about this book. Finally, I felt, a bunch of stories <i>about</i> Muslim women that were written <i>by</i> Muslim women. I looked forward to reading about the struggles of immigrants, of women born into Muslim families on American soil, of native Muslims, of converts, of black, brown, yellow, tan, white, and purple Muslim women.<br />
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My enthusiasm diminished somewhat as I looked at the faces of the women on the cover, front and back, and diminished further as I quickly scanned the author's names, then began reading. There was one key voice that wasn't represented, when the experience of being a Muslim women in America for them is a big deal - converts. Converts of all races - black, brown, yellow, tan, white, and purple converts. Converts who are forever being asked "How could you <i>choose</i> such an oppressive religion?! Did you marry a Muslim? Do you have a Muslim boyfriend?"**<br />
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All of the women in this book - which, by its very title, subtly claims to encompass all Muslim women in America - were born into Muslim families. They're the children of immigrants, or come from Black American families, and I find myself not connecting with them as much as I could, as I feel that, as a Muslim woman, I <i>should</i>, because I'm a convert - I can't identify with growing up Muslim or being raised by immigrant parents, and because I'm white - I don't have the experiences with racism and being considered unAmerican from the get-go that they have.<br />
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This book (the first in a series, which I will be buying the rest of) is an <i>excellent</i> read, and a great and noble endeavor. I really, honestly hope and pray that God blesses the women who thought of it, who put it into motion, and the women who contributed to it. At the same time, I feel that while it's impossible to fully include all aspects of American Muslim womanhood, this book does a great disservice by not including the voices and struggles of converts. While I personally felt jilted by not having a white convert's story because I myself am white, <i>any</i> convert's story would have been better than none.<br />
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I know of converts who have been kicked out of their homes because they converted. I know converts whose families have assumed that they were going to become terrorists or get "extreme" and start wearing niqab, who have verbally and sometimes physically attacked them for their choices. I know converts who constantly struggle with being told that we're the best Muslims because we chose Islam, and won't we tell everyone our convert stories, and are then left alone to learn even the bare basics by ourselves because quite often it seems like the <i>only</i> thing born Muslims want from us is to hear our convert story, say <i>Masha'Allah</i> (God has willed it), and then leave us alone, with no help and no support group.<br />
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I know converts (spoiler alert: it's me) who cry every Ramadan because every other Muslim they know gets up before dawn and eats a big meal with their families, then prays the pre-dawn prayer, Fajr, with them, and then go to the mosque with their families to break their fasts and pray the sunset prayer, Maghrib, and then stay at the mosque with their families to <i>taraweeh</i>, the nightly recitation of the Qur'an during Ramadan, while the convert eats <i>suhoor</i> alone, prays alone, fasts alone, comes alone to the mosque and tries to find any empty spot at the tables where they might be welcomed, or at least tolerated, and then eats as quickly as they can so that they can leave as soon as possible because they work at night and can't stay for <i>taraweeh</i>, or just can't bear to watch the huge family deal that is Ramadan and Eid, the holiday right after, being celebrated by families that they aren't a part of, because they're the only Muslim in their family.<br />
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<i>I Speak for Myself: Voices of American Muslim Women</i> is an excellent book, with an amazing purpose and vision that it can in no way ever truly achieve unless it's expanded by two or three more volumes. I, quite simply, feel left out.<br />
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That was sad. Have a picture of Gir.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Gir © Nickelodeon/Jhonen Vasquez</span></div>
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* "Islamic" in the sense that they attempt to rule based on their interpretations of Shariah law. How truly Islamic they actually are varies.<br />
** Seriously, stfu with this question. Really. No. Really. No ... really. I mean it. Just stop.Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-645961437892456312013-02-04T23:38:00.001-08:002013-06-04T00:06:21.531-07:00It's Not About You: Identifying and Acknowledging Privilege (Without Getting Butthurt - Because It's Not About You)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So, I recently posted this on my Facebook and a friend of mine mentioned that this was 95% of American citizens. I corrected him that it was more like 95% of white men, to which he replied that I was being sexist and racist. It is <b><span class="Apple-style-span">so</span></b> important to recognize one's privilege - I have my own. Most of us do. One of the things about privilege is that you don't even know you have it, and you all know that I love to educate people.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This is what I replied with, with his name removed:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0]">Actually, m</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;">en</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[2]">, it's pretty much fact. As a white, cisgendered (as in, your physical and mental genders match up), heterosexual man, you, my friend, have a TON of privilege that you don't even realize you have. <b>IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.</b></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[2]"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[5]">However. You don't have to worry about being sexually assaulted and blamed for it. You don't have to worry that the people catcalling you are going to follow you and get more and more aggressive, or that when you turn down someone's advances they're going to get violent. You don't have to worry that every time someone makes a rape joke, it's because they really DO think rape is funny and think that you really DO mean yes when you tell them no, even when you're screaming and crying.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><br id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[7]" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[8]">You don't have to worry about getting pulled over or followed around a store simply because of your skin color. You don't have to worry about the government deporting you and your family. You don't have to worry about landing on the no-fly list simply because of your name or religion.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><br id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[10]" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[11]">If you go to a mechanic or a doctor you can expect to be listened to and taken at your word - not second-guessed or talked down to like you don't know what you're talking about.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><br id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[13]" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[14]">You don't have to worry about your relationships being legalized or accepted, because they already are. You don't have to worry about getting beaten or killed because of your sexual orientation, or for talking about it/holding hands with your girlfriend. You're not at risk of being fired from your job or denied housing because of it.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><br id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[16]" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[17]">THAT is your privilege, gentlemen, and there's a lot more. It doesn't make you a bad person. It IS a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;">part of your life.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><i>But wait, there's more I have to say!</i></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[17]"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[17]">Privilege comes in <b>so many forms</b> that it's scary. And it's not a strict ladder. A gay white man still has white and male privilege, while a straight white woman has white and straight privilege. Wealth and class brings its own privileges - what do you <b>mean,</b> you can't afford a $50 meal for one? It's just $50! - Yeah, well, that's my phone bill for the month. That's a over a third of my paycheck for a week. That's most of my car insurance for a month.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[17]"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 14px;"><span id=".reactRoot[1184].[1][2][1]{comment495635713816747_17897443}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[17]">It is absolutely neither racist nor sexist to call out privilege, especially amongst the most privileged class - straight, white, cisgendered men. One should try to be as kind as possible without bending over backwards, but if someone calls out your privilege, for God's sake <i>stop and think about it</i>. What are they really saying? It's fine to be ignorant - ask them what they mean. <i>And think about it</i>.</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><b>I</b> have privilege. I have white privilege. I have straight privilege - or passing privilege. And at work, I have another form of passing privilege - I'm white, blonde-haired, and blue-eyed. I have a very Anglo name (all right, my first name is Hebrew so I do sometimes get asked if I'm Jewish). I neither look nor sound Muslim, therefore nobody knows that I am unless I tell them - which has, in the past, gotten awkward when someone has made remarks about Islam and Muslims and I've had to be all, "Dude ... <b>I'm</b> Muslim." I even have some class privilege from not growing up exceptionally poor - on the lower end of middle class and the upper end of lower class, yes, but not nearly as poor as some of my friends.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">And you know what? <b>I make mistakes sometimes.</b> I say and do classist and sometimes, yes, racist things. My intention is never to hurt people but intent is not magical and it does not negate the feelings I've hurt. But when I'm called out on my privilege, <i>I have learned enough to listen.</i> I have learned enough to apologize because <i>I hurt someone</i>, and not get defensive when someone tells me "Your white/straight/not-dirt-poor-growing-up privilege is showing." I have learned enough to read books and articles on not just privilege but the experiences of others, and to know that <i>my experiences in life do not trump anyone else's</i>.</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/11/faq-what-is-male-privilege/" target="_blank">FinallyFeminism101</a> has an excellent article that defines privilege in general and male privilege in particular, and gives examples of other forms. It's an excellent read and I strongly encourage you to read it, male or female or both or neither.</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://ilykadamen.blogspot.com/2007/03/occasionally-conversations-with-my-man.html" target="_blank">Conversations with My Man</a> is also a good primer on privilege and the importance of realizing that when talking about Group X that you're a part of, <i>it's not about you personally</i>. That, I feel, is the main hitch in talking about privilege - people take it as personal attacks rather than acknowledging that it's not all about them.</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">So there. Those are my thoughts.</span></span></span>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-10175020562209593272013-01-17T22:07:00.003-08:002013-06-04T00:07:16.472-07:00Hijab treats a symptom; it's not a cure<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Note: </b>I'm not a scholar. All of my opinions are gathered from reading, researching, and my own personal prayers and contemplations - commonly known as ijtihad. I'm not a scholar. I just think for myself. If there is any historical inaccuracy in my posts, please politely let me know and link me to reliable sources. Thank you.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-style: normal;">So let's talk about hijab, because the world doesn't talk about it nearly enough. I, however, have Very Strong Opinions on this, and it's my blog, so I'll state my Very Strong Opinions if I want to.</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">In a word, shut the fuck up about hijab. Shut the fuck up about how women need to wear it to keep men from being tempted by our looks. Shut the fuck up with insisting that women be the caretakers of men's desires and men's actions. We are not responsible for anyone's actions but our own - I am not responsible for your actions, dear reader, nor are you responsible for mine.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But I'm getting off track. To put it simply, hijab is <i>not</i> a cure for the hellish way that women have been treated by men since the dawn of time. Hijab is merely a temporary aide while men worked on learning - truly learning - to treat women with dignity and respect. You know, to treat us like human beings.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The Qur'an is a linguistic miracle. Each and every verse, each and every phrase, each and every word was chosen with precision and care - even the way subject matter is approached, how people are talked to, is deliberate. It's God talking to us, after all.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So let's look at what the Qur'an says about hijab:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><i>Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do."</i> (24:30 - Yusuf Ali)</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 24px;">Right off the bat, the Qur'an deals with men. In talking to men first, it places more importance on their actions - otherwise it would say <i>"Say to the believing men and women ..."</i> if it were placing equal importance on the actions of both genders. But the Qur'an doesn't. It <i>very specifically</i> addresses men first. In a society where men could have any number of wives they wanted and weren't required to provide for any of them or for any resultant children, this new religion suddenly said no, you can't have any number of wives, and you have to take care of the ones you do have. It suddenly said no, you can't deny women their property or children or free will in marriage or any other affair. It suddenly said hey, guys, women are people with the same rights that you enjoy, so you can't treat them like property anymore.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 24px;">The Qur'an addresses men first because it was (and still is) the behaviour of men that needed to be corrected. Men needed to be called out for not controlling themselves and for harassing women. Men needed to be reminded that <i>they</i> were responsible for their actions, and they alone; not women. And while the patriarchal culture was doing a complete 180 ...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><i>"</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><i>And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss."</i> (24:31 - Yusuf Ali)</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 24px;">Then and only then does God turn to women and instruct them to be modest and lower their gazes, as well. The implications of this that I read are "Men, start treating women as actual human beings with liberty and justice and free will and bodily autonomy. Don't catcall, don't harass, don't treat them like slaves or objects or animals. Women, while men are working on changing a cultural mindset that's a thousand or more years old, ease the process a bit."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 24px;">The Qur'an is <i>not</i> placing the responsibility of controlling men's sexual desires on women. It is <i>not</i> declaring that women covering themselves will magically cure rape and oppression and harassment - it didn't then, and it doesn't now.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 24px;">Hijab is not a cure. It merely treats a symptom while men are (supposedly) curing themselves of the mindset that women are, by dint of existing, the property of men, to do with as men please.</span></div>
Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-79255217708153114762012-09-11T01:40:00.000-07:002013-06-04T00:07:56.548-07:00What's so bad about being unashamedly yourself?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://septemberpsyco.tumblr.com/post/31234437818/as-harry-potter-was-the-only-other-thing-i-was" target="_blank">This blog post</a> (trigger warning for eating disorders) about Luna Lovegood and how people who are just being themselves, unashamedly, are treated when they don't fall into a socially-constructed "norm" has me thinking.
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"You laughed hysterically at one of Ron’s quips and didn’t stop to excuse yourself and feel ashamed when it became clear that everyone found you strange. ... [Y]ou carried your oddness like it was the most natural thing in the world. You didn’t market your oddness as your defining feature the way some insecure teenagers do, in guise of confidence and security. And nor were you oblivious to the awkward and uncomfortable feelings your oddness provoked in others. When, unable to comprehend how you wore your oddness so honestly and unashamedly, your peers reverted to mockery and bullying, you recognised this as a reflection of their own deep-seated insecurity and calmly let them carry on, quite above your head. You weren’t trying hard to present a certain aspect of yourself that would boldly identify you in the world. And that’s when it occurred to me how bizarre and positively ridiculous it was to apply the word “weird” to describe you, when you represented the most natural and unpretentious state possible to be; you were yourself."</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This what my pants/socks/shoes looked like today. I was on the bus and sitting in the higher-up chairs. On this system, the first four seats are higher than the rest. I don't know why. Because Buddha.
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I was giggling and talking softly to myself*, as I'm wont to do, and kicking my legs and fiddling my feet around and grinning all over the place - I was in a bloody <i>fantastic</i> mood. Another passenger complimented me on my scarf (I had three people today tell me I look nice/beautiful/etc) and I said thank you and told him I get most of my scarves at Wal-Mart or Target and he was cute and nice and laughing at me in a good way.
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Then I said (because I start random conversations) "I'm a grown-up. I wear
what I want! I do what I want! People tell you "You can't wear or do that, but you can do whatever you want when you're an adult" when you're a kid. Well, I'm an adult! I wear what I want!"
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And it's sad because that really doesn't happen a lot. We're <i>told</i> we can eat dessert first when we're adults, or wear mismatching shoes and socks, but by the time we get to adulthood, that individuality, that lack of caring to fit in and lack of caring what others think on that level, is largely beaten out of us. We're looked down on if we honestly do as we please, even when it's not harming ourselves or others.
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And <i>why?</i> What's the <i>point?</i> If I don't fit in exactly with socially-constructed norms and <i>I'm not harming anyone</i>, why is it so bad for me to talk to myself in public? Why is it so bad for me to wear neon-green shoes and pink plaid socks? Have we really become a society (were we ever not?) where someone being honest and open about who they are is a <i>bad</i> thing?
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I've decided that my favorite Harry Potter character is Luna Lovegood - because she's <i>not</i> weird. She's <i>herself</i>, and every person who pretends to be something other than who they truly are is the weird one.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">*I've stopped thinking homeless people who talk to themselves are weirdos because I realized that <i>I </i>do it <i>all the time</i>.
</span>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-10433512802779677612012-07-29T05:32:00.000-07:002013-06-04T00:08:25.556-07:00Ramadan secrets<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Before I begin, let me preface this post with this:</span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">These are my thoughts and my feelings. I will <i>not</i> accept <i>anyone</i> delegitimizing or silencing them. I will <i>not</i> accept <i>anyone</i> telling me that I'm wrong, or I'm doing something wrong, or I just need to pray more/try harder/etc.</span></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This blog is an <b>honest</b> look at the life of a convert in a Muslim-minority country. I post very blunt things here, in the knowledge that if I'm thinking and/or feeling them, then someone else is, too - and that someone, those someones, need to know that they're not alone.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>You are not alone.</b> Even when it feels that way. And if you feel the way that I do in this post, <b>you are normal.</b> There's no shame in what I'm about to post. There <b>is</b> shame in trying to shame people about it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">That said, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I don't like Ramadan.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17px;">I really don't like Ramadan. Not because I can't eat or drink - I don't care about the fasting. That's easy. That's nothing.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">But I have no one to share it with. I either wake up or stay up for the pre-prayer meal and then the first prayer of the day, and I do it alone. I pray alone, except for the rare times my roommate prays with me. I break my fast alone. I can't get to the mosque because I have no bus money, but even if I did have the money, I'd have to leave before breaking my fast with the other Muslims because I'm stuck on the bus system and it's not favorable to late-night gatherings.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I don't have a car and I don't have a job (that one's my own fault for not looking hard enough) and my "friends" in the area know this, but I'm never invited anywhere. I don't ask to hang out because I always need a ride. I can rarely do things with Islamic groups because of my carless situation.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">So I wake up and eat and pray alone, I break my fast and pray alone, I don't get invited to other people's homes to break the fast and I'm too poor to invite anyone over to my home and feed them. Ramadan is a <b>huge</b> family affair and I'm the only Muslim in my family.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I don't get a spiritual high during Ramadan. People gush about it, about how revitalized they feel, how amazing it is. I don't feel that. All I feel is this deep, aching loneliness. I'm usually fine with the thought of being foreveralone, until Ramadan. Then I realize that while this beautiful and holy and amazing month is going on, I'm feeling alone and depressed and resentful because I'm not feeling any of it. I have no one to share it with and no way to <b>get</b> to people with whom I can share it. It makes me really want to marry the next interested guy regardless of who he is or how well I know him (I'm not going to, btw) just so I don't have to spend another Ramadan alone.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">So, yeah. I don't <b>hate</b> Ramadan, I just currently really, really,<b> really</b> dislike it. I feel the exact opposite of how it's supposed to make me feel.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I don't usually think of all of this. I ignore it fairly well, even during Ramadan. But after sundown, when I'm alone,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"> I get depressed.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17px;">So that's my secret. Ramadan does nothing but depress me, and I don't like Ramadan that much.</span>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-87674790089113348072012-03-28T00:25:00.000-07:002012-03-28T00:29:10.613-07:00Advice for Converts (and Lax Muslims)<br />
Someone on <a href="http://www.jezebel.com/">Jezebel</a> messaged me because while they converted two years ago, they're not really practicing, and neither is their husband. They want to learn more, and asked me for advice. This is the novel I wrote in return.<br />
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Faith has to be learned and taken to heart - it has to be an active thing, not a passive thing, and it takes time. Muhammad, peace be with him, said that faith comes and goes. Sometimes you have a lot of it, sometimes you have a little of it, and that's completely natural. Maintaining the same level of faith for forever generally means you're not <i>doing</i> your faith.<br />
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It took <i>years</i> before the first Muslims were ordered to pray, and the prohibitions against alcohol came in stages. People needed to be eased into the faith, and so do converts and lax Muslims.<br />
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I also came to Islam from an intellectual perspective, so the "faith" part can also bother me. I don't seem to feel it like others do, except for rare moments. It helps to remind myself that, even if I think the rule is silly (why do we cover our hair when we pray at home?), God's rules has reasons behind them. Muhammad, peace be with him, said "God is modest and loves modesty." Covering while praying at home could be seen as deferring to God's modesty, and love of modesty. Or, if it really bugs you, don't cover when you pray at home. The wonderful thing about Islam is that so long as you're trying your best, God tends to let you screw up without punishment. He understands that it's a struggle. :)<br />
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When I was 15, I saw Gundam Wing, an anime show. One of the characters was of Arab descent, and when I was 17, there was some speculation on the mailing list I was on that he could be Muslim. So some Muslims piped up. Later, I played a role-playing game and made a character who could work miracles. I made her Muslim, and had to learn about it. I played her two years in a row. Then, each year, I'd have the urge to read about Islam and cover up and everything. In 2008, I took a class at my now-mosque, after meeting a Muslim guy where I worked. In 2009, I started covering my hair and learning again, and this time the urge didn't leave. I made friends with a Muslim girl at school and she got me in touch with another friend, and I went to a different mosque for a youth conference. It was very conservative and while I enjoyed the conference and went to that mosque on Fridays, I wasn't feeling it.<br />
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Then, someone on a world-wide LiveJournal group for modest dressers mentioned she'd just converted at that mosque. I messaged her and we went to my current mosque for Jummah, at which point I said I didn't know enough to convert and she told me if I waited until I knew enough, I'd never convert because I'd never know enough. So, the next week Dad came with me and I converted. Huzzah!<br />
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I don't like pork or alcohol, so I didn't have to give those up, and I was already covering my hair because I do things bass-ackwards, sometimes. The real difficulties were getting my family used to it and weaning myself off of being touchy-feely with my male friends. With my family, I wouldn't pry at their house because my dad's household was iffy with my conversion.<br />
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<i>Finally, my friend told me that it's like a new coffee table. If you hide it away, no one will get used to it, but if you leave it out, people will bang their shins on it for a bit, but then they'll be used to it.</i> That helped.<br />
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Also, praying. I've only recently (in the past 2 months) started praying regularly. It's my main struggle. I've got it to where I'm praying 5 times a day, even if I have to make prayers up, and I'm going to try to start shifting my prayers times to on time, one at a time. It's a process. :)<br />
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If you want to get more involved in the faith, I would suggest starting small. Work on the five pillars one by one. Get the big picture down, and then fill in the small details. If your local mosque has classes, take them! :)<br />
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<b>1) Shahada. </b>There is no God but the Abrahamic God, and Muhammad is His final messenger. Learn about the Oneness of God (Surah Ikhlas sums it up perfectly, and is said to be worth 1/3 of the Qur'an), and learn about Muhammad, peace be with him. Get to know them and find stories that touch you. I love hearing hadiths that give the Prophet a very human image in my mind, about his jokes and his kindness.<br />
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<b>2) Prayer.</b> Start small. One prayer a day for a week, maybe, and then work up to all five. It ought to take 6 weeks, if you do it that way, counting about a week for your period (and don't let people tell you that women are less than men because they don't pray as much - we don't pray because God told us not to, so when we don't pray on our periods, we're more in a state of submission to God than men will ever be). And if you fall off the bandwagon, get right back up! :)<br />
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You'll have to learn at least three chapters from the Qur'an - al Fatiha and two others. I do Ikhlas first, then Kauthar. They're really short. :) If Arabic is giving you trouble, learn your prayers in English and recite as much Arabic as you know, then go back to English - or say "<i>SubhanAllah, ahumdulillah, Allahu ackbar</i>" until you get to a point that you know. It's fine, because you're still learning. And it is <i>so</i> exciting to be able to track how much you're learning, and you'll get <i>so excited</i>, if you're praying in congregation, when the imam gets to a part that you know. :D<br />
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<b>3) Charity.</b> If you make above a certain amount, you have to pay 2.5% of your net wealth in charity each year, or make up for it with good deeds. Give what you can. If you see a homeless person on the street, go buy them a bag of apples. Do it with the knowledge that it's pleasing God when you give in charity, and also, you're doing someone a kindness that may make or break their day. Suicides have been prevented by a simple phone call or kind word. Charity isn't always money; it's also actions.<br />
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<b>4) Fasting.</b> Fast during Ramadan. Ladies, even if you're not comfortable with wearing hijab (you can start with wearing it while you pray and whenever you're at the mosque, to get used to it), fast during Ramadan. Go to the mosque for iftar, stay for taraweh prayers. Mingle with Muslims as much as possible, during all stages! :D They help you to <i>feel</i> Muslim.<br />
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<b>5) The pilgrimage. </b>If you can afford it, go. If you can't, learn about it, or give money to sponsor someone else who's going. I may never be able to afford it. :/ Sad day.<br />
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Read the Qur'an and take classes during all of this. It could take months or years, or less, or more. Take the steps that you're comfortable with, and try to push yourself to expand your limits. Don't do things that you resent, because faith has to be done willingly and out of love.<br />
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Of course, if you're married and your spouse isn't supporting you with this, it will be more difficult. Talk with them, let them know that you want to get more serious about Islam. See if they want to, also. That would be awesome. But if not, see if there's a halaqa, convert group, in-law, or Muslim friend (or all of the above!) who would be good support for you, and maybe you can inspire your spouse to get more serious.<br />
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But most of all, remember that you should take Islam in stages. If you can't stop drinking right away, it's all right. Improve in another area. If you can't wear hijab right away, that's fine, too. Wearing hijab doesn't make you a better Muslim, it makes you a visible Muslim. Which is, honestly, a pain in the ass. :)<br />
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So, in conclusion, take your time, and take the steps that you're comfortable with. Islam is a process; you can't do it all at once, and you shouldn't. Ease into it, and find a good support group. :)Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-88778141585480711532012-01-17T16:07:00.000-08:002012-03-28T00:27:00.338-07:00Loving God and the Prophet<br />
<i>Gee, did I say I had a posting schedule? Oops. Sorry. About that.</i><br />
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Muslims are told to love Allah and love the Prophet, peace be with him, but we aren't given concrete ways to learn to have, to <i>do</i>, this love.<br />
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"Just love the Prophet, peace be with him."<br />
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"If you love God, you'll love the Prophet."<br />
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But <i>how</i> do you love God and the Prophet? How do you build that sort of relationship - any relationship?<br />
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It's a process. It's not as simple as "Just love God/the Prophet." A real relationship takes time and effort. It takes knowing the other person, knowing their good parts, their bad parts, knowing how they think and feel, what they like to do, what they don't like to do. A healthy relationship means spending time with the other person - a lot of it. Relationships are the blending of interactions with others, time spent together, adventures shared, sadness condoled and joy celebrated with on another.<br />
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For me, I tend to feel very distant from the Prophet, peace be with him, and see him as only a distant figure of some vague authority. But I also know that when I hear a particularly skilled storyteller talk about his life as a person, about him taking the time to console a street urchin whose parrot and only friend had died, who let a little girl lead him through the streets just to show him her toys, and who played with her for a while before going back to lead an entire city, that's when the Prophet, peace be with him, becomes real to me.<br />
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Maybe I haven't been looking in the right places, but it seems to me that a lot of Muslims deal in the abstract, without giving concrete ways to love God and the Prophet like we're supposed to. It's very difficult, in their defense, to teach someone how to fall in love, but the Prophet needs to be a real and sympathetic person to you before you can love him, and that means presenting his stories in ways that people today can connect with.Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-42367111028388956822011-10-20T00:00:00.000-07:002011-10-22T23:13:37.572-07:00The trials and tribulations of an American hijabi<i>My <a href="http://www.jezebel.com/">Jezebel</a> friend Effie definitely helped me out with this one, so she gets co-server credit!</i><br />
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What, <i>another</i> post about Muslim women wearing hijab? I've already talked about it <a href="http://hijabiwaitress.blogspot.com/2010/07/oppressing-oppressed.html">here</a>, <a href="http://hijabiwaitress.blogspot.com/2010/06/most-exclusive-club.html">here</a>, <a href="http://hijabiwaitress.blogspot.com/2010/05/of-licences-and-hijabs.html">here</a>, and most heart-wrenchingly (trust me, my heart was wrenched as I wrote it), <a href="http://hijabiwaitress.blogspot.com/2010/10/to-one-i-love-back-off-my-hijab.html">here</a>.<br />
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I've talked about my problems with loved ones not being able to come to terms with my hijab (which I believe has since happened, as there haven't been any more confrontations or talk about it from either of us), about how special and secure and comfortable hijab makes me feel, about how it's helped me to spread awareness about Islam, about how people automatically think I'm not American because of it, and about how I love that hijab makes me visibly Muslim.<br />
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But there's another side to this, a far more frustrating side, and that's what I want to discuss candidly here: how <i>difficult</i> it is to be a visibly Muslim woman in America.<br />
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First off, being visibly Muslim, and visibly female and Muslim (not that I had a choice with the girl genes), is something that I chose to be, and something that I do not want to <i>not</i> be. The thought of <i>having</i> to take my hijab off in public makes me sick to my stomach. Hijab is something that I chose for myself, over the protestations of some friends, some family members, and a lot of strangers.<br />
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<i>I love wearing hijab and being visibly Muslim.</i><br />
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<i>But. It. Is. <b>Hard.</b> </i><br />
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A lot of non-covering Muslim women, a majority of Muslim men, and the <i>vast</i> majority of non-Muslims who don't see covering any part of themselves as a religious obligation don't understand how frustrating, how difficult, it is to be, quite often, the only visible Muslim that people come in contact with. Hijabis are subjected to invasive, personal questions from complete strangers, our private lives and beliefs are suddenly part of the public discourse, and our privacy takes an abrupt back seat to a stranger's curiosity.<br />
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All of this. Every day. Over and over and over again. God grant us all patience, but dear God, it gets really old, really fast. And the kicker is, we Muslim women can't really do anything about it, because as possibly the only Muslims these strangers will ever meet, we have a duty to always be on our best behaviour, to show everyone our best face. If I'm abrupt with someone because I'm having a bad day, it will get blamed on Islam. "That Muslim at the store was rude to me," rather than "Some lady snapped at me today." And it's the "Muslim" part that people will remember and comment on.<br />
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And so I want to talk about this issue, about how being so visibly
Muslim makes - <i>forces</i> - me to have to try to be the perfect model of a
Muslim. <i>Muslim women</i> take the brunt of people's attacks. <i>We</i> are forced to endure
invasive questions. <i>We</i> can rarely fight back without Islam being
perceived as bad. <br />
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But who do we let off steam to? If I tell a friend or family member about all of this, all I'll get is, "Well, why don't you take it off if it's that much of a hassle?" Or even, "You invite those sorts of questions when you wear the scarf."<br />
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But it's not just people asking questions, and it's not just me whining. It gets to the point of honest-to-God verbal harassment, if not abuse. When a customer asks me if I can have sex, and then tells me it's too bad I can't because sex is awesome, that's harassment. When I'm asked at work, in a position of subordination to my customers, if I converted because I got married, or when a customer reaches out to touch me <i>after</i> I've asked them not to and explained that it's a religious thing, that's harassment. That's someone using their position of authority over me ("the customer is always right," remember?) in order to ask invasive, personal questions, in order to put their hands on me when it's entirely inappropriate to touch me. These are questions and actions that <i>should not be happening</i>, and most of all, <i>I should not be blamed for people using my attire as an excuse to be rude</i>.<br />
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Thank God that most of the anger over Islam and Muslims and Muslim women is anger I face online, and not in person. But for a lot of covering Muslim women, people feel free to express their anger at us being employed, being covered, and being Muslim (and sometimes, for us being all of these and a "Western" woman to boot) to our faces. We get yelled at. We get argued with. We get pulled into angry debates just because we're there, we exist. Sometimes, we get physically assaulted.<br />
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I am a feminist. I'm for the equality of women to men. I'm for equality and equity between the genders, all of them. I'm for equal rights to education, health, relationships, and religions for <i>all</i> people. But, while it's a role I (mostly) cherish, it is often <i>infuriating</i> to have to constantly portray the image of a positive, upbeat, and unflappable Muslim woman living in the West, being both Western and Muslim (because seriously, there can't be a contradiction between a religious affiliation and a geographical location; there just can't be, that's comparing apples and pulsars, it is).<br />
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Muslim men, uncovered Muslim women, I love you for the sake of God and I hope that I never, <i>ever</i> feel superior to <i>anyone</i> because of how I dress, believe, or behave. But you, especially my brothers in Islam, don't know. You can shave your beards. You can take off your kufis. You can wear jeans and t-shirts. And for some of you, you can put on a cowboy hat and cowboy boots and people will think you're Mexican. You can pass as non-Muslim.<br />
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At the risk of sounding whiny, I can't do that. I am <i>always</i> in the spotlight, no matter <i>what</i> I do. I can't <i>not</i> colour people's perceptions of Islam and Muslims, no matter how right or wrong it is to do that. People will approach the woman in a headscarf before they approach you. People, men and women alike, will ask <i>me</i> about my sex life, tell <i>me</i> that I need to "show [my body] off" before they talk to <i>you</i>, unless you <i>tell</i> them that you're Muslim. Because I can't help but look the part, and you don't have to.<br />
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Now, people will and do come back at me when I mention any of this. It's a test, a trial, God rewards hardships, blah blah blah. That's cheap talk. I know full well that God rewards us for going through hardships. But that doesn't mean that we <i>have</i> to go through hardships. It doesn't mean we have to seek them out. It doesn't mean we have to tolerate them. It doesn't mean we have to <i>enjoy</i> them. And it. Gets. Old. <i>Really</i> quickly. Especially when one's job is suddenly on the line for it. For the record, I've lost my job as a waitress because of customer lies and exaggerations, which I believe were religiously motivated but I can't prove.<br />
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God rewards us for going through hardships for His sake. That's fine to tell someone, but that's how people leave it. I've heard that <i>so</i> many times, but what I <i>don't</i> hear is what to do <i>next</i>. I'll put my faith in God, but what do I do to combat the stares and the questions? What other practical steps do I take? Other than trusting in God, what <i>mortal</i> support do I have?<br />
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Oftentimes, I don't feel like I have any. If a friend of the family whose stepfather is serving <i>another</i> tour in Iraq feels uncomfortable with me wearing hijab and my Mom asks me to take it off for the party, I have some people tell me, "Well, she's 16, she's old enough to get over it." And this from another convert, to boot. But that's not practical advice. Practical advice might have been, "Try calling her and discussing it with her." Or, "wrap it so you can wear a cowboy hat and see how things go." Both of which I ended up doing after hours of worrying about it, with very little real help.<br />
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Thank God that situation worked out well, but my point is, being a hijabi in America is difficult and we, at least we converts who don't have the support of a Muslim family and those hijabis who have Muslim family who <i>don't</i> support them wearing hijab, don't seem to have a how-to guide for navigating this all.<br />
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I really wish we did.<br />
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<i>Again, Effie has been your co-server this posting. Thank you for reading!</i>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-56720608698008556492011-10-17T00:00:00.000-07:002011-10-17T16:42:43.481-07:00Muslim or muslim?<i>Please note that yes, I <b>am</b> citing my sources. Why? Because I hate it when people make claims and don't cite their sources. If I'm going to claim something, I want the proof to back it up.</i><br />
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<i>All the views expressed here, unless otherwise noted, are mine and mine alone. And despite occasional claims to the contrary, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a <strike>member of the Communist Party</strike> scholar of Islam. Maybe one day. But not today. </i> <br />
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Capitalization errors aside, I make a distinction between some<i>one</i> who is Muslim and some<i>thing</i> that is muslim. This has relevance, I think, with how Muslims try to explain Islam and the definitions of "Islam" and "Muslim" to non-Muslims.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Islam, from the root S-L-M, can be defined as "to surrender oneself, to commit or resign oneself to the will of God. (<a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=IVyMAvW9slYC&pg=PA8&dq=surrender+to+will+of+God+islam#v=onepage&q=surrender%20to%20will%20of%20God%20islam&f=false">Lewis & Churchill, 2009</a>)" So, who surrenders, or commits or resigns themselves to the will of God?<br />
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According to Arabic grammar (and a huge shout-out to <a href="http://dawahaddict.blogspot.com/">Dawah Addict</a> for bringing this to my attention!), the prefix <i>mu-</i> is the same, essentially, as the suffix <i>-r/er</i> in English. One who <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/spelunking">spelunks</a> is a spelunk<i>er</i>. One who writes is a write<i>r</i>. It means <i>one who {verb}s</i> (<a href="http://www.yourdictionary.com/library/islam.html">YourDictionary.com</a>). Therefore, <i>one who {S-L-M}s</i> is a <i>Muslim</i>.<br />
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So, what's the will of God?<br />
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Quite simply, the will of God is that things behave in the way that God intended them to behave, before humans and jinn accepted free will (insert "there-goes-the-neighbourhood" jokes here). Nature is muslim by, well ... nature. Humans who honestly believe that there is no deity but the Abrahamic God, and that the prophet Muhammad, peace be with him, was God's final messenger to humankind, and who make that declaration of faith, are Muslims.<br />
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But waaaaaaait, you cry. Humans don't follow the will of God! We fight and kill and rape and pillage and destroy the Earth, the very Earth that God entrusted us to take care of! How can we be Muslim? And doesn't the Qur'an say that everyone's born Muslim, but their parents make them different faiths?<br />
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Well, hypothetical reader, therein lies the difference between 'muslim' and 'Muslim.' All of nature, the Earth and the skies and the cosmos and the seas, the birds and fishes and plants and animals, <i></i><i> </i>are muslim because they are not <i>actively</i> submitting to God's will by their own <i>free</i> will. They <i>have</i> no free will. They are muslim by default. There is no other choice. In the case of babies, their conscious minds, their sense of self-determination, has not yet formed. One might even say that their free will has not yet been granted to them. They, too, are acting naturally and as they should, as God intended them to.<br />
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<i>Muslims</i>, on the other hand, human beings (and jinn, I suppose, but who cares about jinn? I don't) who have the choice to submit to God's will or not, are active participants in their submission. They have other options, can use their deductive reasoning skills to see God in other faiths or to not see God at all. It is the conscious decision to accept God's will, to practice Islam to the best of their abilities, that makes humans (and jinn, fine, whatever) Muslim, where everything else in the universe is merely muslim. It's passive vs. active. A natural disposition that you have no control over vs. a conscious choice.<br />
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And that, dear hypothetical reader, is my take on being Muslim vs. being muslim.Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-80291299891463501812011-10-13T23:57:00.000-07:002011-10-14T00:41:01.168-07:00Logical Faith<div style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Looks like Mondays and Thursdays are my scheduled posting days. We'll see how this goes. :)</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I was<i> </i>told recently that once one knew the rules of a faith (Islam, in this case), once one knew what God wanted one to do, then one couldn't possibly apply logic to the rules, only blindly follow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I took issue with this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I came to Islam through a logical process. I've tried being atheist. It didn't work. Agnosticism only worked slightly better. The thought of multiple gods, though appealing at one point in my life, was no longer working. I've always felt a spiritual power in life, whether or not I identified it as such. Buddhism and Taoism, though paths that I greatly admire and respect, don't quite do it for me. It seems there's something more, something they don't quite get, to my mind. I never got the concept of the Trinity in Christianity, either.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When I was 17 and playing a World of Darkness mortals game, I made my character Muslim. I had to do a lot of research into Islam, because I'm anal like that. The more I researched, the more it appealed to me. What it says about women and women's rights, about how to treat others, about how to fight wars, about how violence ought to be a very last resort, is inspiring. While still raising questions, and while my faith still fluctuates in a quite natural manner, Islam has always been a very <i>logical</i> faith to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Therefore, you can imagine the irritation I felt when I was told that I had to blindly follow orders, without question, even to the detriment of my physical health.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I refuse. Faith necessarily includes a suspension of logic at times (logically, I'm going to be jobless and poor for a damn long tie, but I have faith that I'll get a job soon, that <i>something</i> will happen in my favour), but it should also make <i>sense</i>. You should know <i>why</i> you do something, and you should be encouraged in seeking knowledge about it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">So I ask questions. <strike>I feel that I'm required to not drink alcohol, but why is that prohibition in place?</strike> Actually, that's a bad example. I don't like alcohol and alcoholism runs in my family so I stopped drinking long before I converted, so I haven't looked into that particular prohibition.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I'm prohibited from eating pork. Why? What is it about pig meat that God deems unclean? Are animals spiritually unclean? How can they be, since they have no free will and are therefore acting in <i>complete</i> accordance with God's will? Pigs are more muslim than Muslims. So why can't we eat their flesh?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Have you heard of <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001655/">trichinosis</a>? According to Science, it's a parasitical infection caused by eating raw or undercooked pork. What about <a href="http://eands.caltech.edu/articles/LXVI4/brainworms.html">neurocysticercosis</a>, which causes the same Swiss-cheesing of the brain that Alzheimer's causes?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In a time when people wouldn't accept the reality of bacteria and other invisible creatures, and weren't aware of proper cooking temperatures for meat (what we now call "proper," at any rate), that prohibition makes sense. There's logic to it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The Qur'an extorts us to seek knowledge, every single Muslim (Qur'an 20:114, 26:83-84). Numerous hadith also implore us to constantly learn (<a href="http://www.wefound.org/texts/knowledge_files/knowledgeQur%27an&Ahadith.htm">Ibn Majah 1/224 andTirmidhi 218, Bukhari 1/67, Muslim 6518, Tirmidhi 222)</a>. Islam is hugely against blind faith. Yes, we follow God's laws as best we can. Yes, sometimes they don't make sense and we question them, hopefully whilst still following them. <i>But it's not wrong to question them.</i> I'm not questioning why I can't eat pork in order to be difficult or to find a way to be able to eat pork. I'm questioning because I want to know why - I want to better understand God's laws.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">"Because I said so" only works for so long. Eventually, children grow up and start thinking on their own and if adults can't give them a good, solid reason to act a certain way, they'll often rebel and do something different. A responsible parent will respect their child's curiosity and self-determination and explain <i>why</i>, as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Many, many times the Qur'an will lay down a command, or, more often, a suggestion, and will follow it up with a <i>reason</i> that it should be followed (Qur'an 33:59). God explains things for us in the Qur'an. God doesn't just say "Do this because I said so." God says "Do this, and this is why." Or, "You can do this, but doing that is better, because of this other thing."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I demand that my faith be logical. I won't stop asking questions. I will do my utmost to not take things on blind faith and follow them without having a good reason why. If this upsets some people, so be it. But faith should always make logical sense to those who have it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>My take on muslim/Muslim coming on Monday, God willing! :D</i></span></div>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-83680631251488621182011-10-10T17:47:00.000-07:002011-10-10T17:48:30.412-07:00Faith in God: I has it. Part II.<span class="ctedit"><i>This is the second installment in the Faith in God: I Has It series. It'll last as long as my conversation with the lady on <a href="http://www.jezebel.com/">Jezebel</a> lasts. And I might add in other parts. Who knows? Donavenesque's reply was short than I had thought, so her reply, and my return reply, are both in this post.</i></span><br />
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<u><span class="ctedit"><b>Donavenesque</b></span></u><br />
<span class="ctedit">You and I disagree that God doesn't give people anything they can't handle. I see plenty of people getting more problems than anyone can handle. (Which begs the question: why aren't I doing more to help??) I personally don't believe God hands out suffering and favors, and if She did, I wouldn't like Her very much. I'd be like, Damn, God, what did Haiti do to you? <br />
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I'm not saying this to talk you out of <i>your</i> beliefs, though! And we absolutely agree that God can help us deal with bad stuff, in one way or another. </span><br />
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<span class="ctedit">And I think that's a really interesting point about being <i>more</i> careful with your health if you feel your life is precious to God. (You've just inspired me to go ahead and make an appointment today to get a lump in my breast checked out, even though I <i>know</i> it's just another benign cyst like I always get...) </span><br />
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<span class="ctedit"><u><b>My Reply</b></u></span><br />
<span class="ctedit">Some of what I say may contradict what I've said before. This is normal. It's not a contradiction in my mind; different circumstances have different explanations, and it's never an all-or-nothing explanations.<br />
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<i>"You and I disagree that God doesn't give people anything they can't handle. I see plenty of people getting more problems than anyone can handle. (Which begs the question: why aren't I doing more to help??)"</i><br />
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Where's the line between not being able to handle something, not being <i>willing</i> to handle something (which includes asking for help), and realising you weren't <i>meant</i> to handle it? If you come to me, wanting me to remove your cyst (yes, go get it checked out, because the one time you <i>don't</i> is when it'll be nasty!), I can't do that because I'm not trained. I can't handle it, but I <i>can</i> see it as a tip that maybe I <i>do</i> need to be able to handle it, and then maybe I enroll in med school. Or maybe I don't help, even if you <i>really</i> need me to cowgirl up, open the Wikipedia article on breast surgery, and dig it out of you, because I'm afraid of failing or I think boobs are icky or whatever. And sometimes you need to fail in order to see what you're doing wrong, or to see what you need to do in order to not fail again.<br />
<br />
I don't believe that humans were made to be perfect. I <i>do</i> believe that we were made to improve. You don't improve if you don't fail once in a while.<br />
<i><br />
<br />
"I personally don't believe God hands out suffering and favors, and if She did, I wouldn't like Her very much. I'd be like, Damn, God, what did Haiti do to you?"</i><br />
<br />
Do you consider God as being personally involved in every tiny aspect of life on Earth? Or do you view God as stepping in once in a while, but largely, having given us directions and free will, stepping back and lettings us get on getting on? I take the second view, personally.<br />
<br />
The problem with an omniscient being, one that transcends time and space, is that, well, they transcend time and space. In the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, when Death looks at a creature, he sees it at every stage in its life, from embryo to infant to adult to elderly. He transcends time and space, but that doesn't mean he can, or chooses to, interfere. Which he does, actually, a lot, but that's a different conversation.<br />
<br />
I'm still pondering the handing out of favours and suffering. I'm leaning toward that all happening after you've lived your life. I'm thinking that it makes more sense, to my mortal brain of severely limited understanding, that God gives us directions and the free will to do what we please, and then tallies it all up after we're dead. The Qur'an talks about good deeds that live on and continue to benefit a person - righteous children, being prayed for, and charity that outlasts them. Everything you do in life, and all the good and bad you continue to influence in the world after your death, are all taken into consideration on the Day of Judgment.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I view God as a scientist - God's started this experiment on Earth and doesn't really interfere because we've got free will, and if God interferes too much, it skews the results.</span><span class="ctedit"></span><br />
<span class="ctedit"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="ctedit"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="ctedit"><i>Also, Monday post FTW! Let's see which other day this week I update. Those will be my update days. For all 27 of you that care - and much love that you do! :D</i><br />
</span>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-23285342451839757942011-10-07T23:33:00.000-07:002011-10-08T17:42:47.194-07:00Faith in God: I has it. Part I.<span style="font-size: small;"><i>In addition to posting Deep and Meaningful Thoughts(tm) on Facebook, I also post them in the comments on <a href="http://www.jezebel.com/">Jezebel</a>, a feminist website.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>A week or so there was a post on how some blogger supposedly overcame her rheumatoid arthritis by the power of Jesus alone, and was walking around in high heels. She also told rape/molestation survivors that all they needed to do was put their faith in Jesus, put on makeup, and wear high heels in order to overcome their trauma.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Some people were trashing on the woman for being so dismissive of, and giving such harmful and insensitive advice to, rape/molestation survivors. There were the requisite "Jesus HEELED me and saved my SOLE!" cracks. And some people were trashing on the blogger's religion.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>One of the commentators posted that she was always irritated that religion only seemed to come up in derisive stories, and as she was basically Christian, would love positive, interesting stories from people of other faiths.</i></span><br />
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</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>This is an edited-for-the-blog version of what I told her. It's going to be a series. Her reply will follow, and mine after that.</i></span><br />
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This is a line of thinking I take that helps keep me (reasonably) calm during a really emotionally stressing time.<br />
<br />
I remember (or try to remember) several things:<br />
<br />
<b>1.</b> The Qur'an says that God doesn't burden believers with more than they can bear.<br />
<b>2.</b> The Qur'an says that God helps those who help themselves (won't change the state of a believer until they change it themselves, but it's same idea).<br />
<b>3.</b> I know how out-of-control my emotions get, and that when I'm up I don't get why I was down and when I'm down I don't get why I was up.<br />
<b>4.</b> I made it through the worst of my period of mood swings (teens through mid-20s).<br />
<br />
So, I have the mindset that even though I want to curl up and die at the moment, I know how it ends, and even though I'll think I was stupid for freaking out over something "tiny," it's not tiny when I'm experiencing it and <i>it's perfectly fine for me to be upset</i>, to let the emotions happen and remember that it <i>is</i> going to get better and I <i>will</i> wonder why I was so upset. But I know the reason I was upset, even if I forget the trigger: I was so upset because <i>at that time</i>, it was important to me.<br />
<br />
Add to that my knowledge that God's not going to put me through something that I can't handle. <i>I</i> may not think I can handle it. I may not handle it <i>well</i>. But I <i>can</i> handle it, because no matter how much faith I have in God during any particular crises, God has more faith in me, and knowing that someone, anyone, has faith in you during a tough time is incredibly helpful.<br />
<br />
And then, God helps those who help themselves. By taking deep breaths, by allowing myself to not just <i>feel</i> a negative emotion, but to also make sure that I <i>understand</i> where it's coming from and where it will likely go, and remember that I've been there, done that.<br />
<br />
On Monday I was ready to kill someone. It wasn't anybody's fault, and nothing I could have done anything about, and it's entirely possible my blood sugar was really low because even after eating I was still starving and bitchy.<br />
<br />
I stopped at Chipotle and bought food, reminding myself that I <i>do</i> need to eat, that yes, I was angry, but I'd feel better soon and I knew that I'd get over it. I was friendly with the staff (fake it until you make it, y'all) and gobbled my burrito down, and didn't leave until I felt well enough to face the world. I was mad, I was frustrated, I was stuffed full yet still starving, but I was going to be all right because I knew how to deal with the situation, and by not beating myself up over being angry at something stupid (that was going to be fixed the next day), I saved myself even more anger.<br />
<br />
As it turns out, I was perfectly in time to the train stop to hop on the train just as it pulled up, <i>and</i> I got my bike and I situated such that I was just about to sit down when the train pulled out --- I was horrendously pleased with that, but in an extremely difficult emotional situation, any triumph is a ray of sunshine. And it didn't start raining except for a few drops, so my laptop and camera didn't get wet on the bike ride part of my commute home.<br />
<br />
So, did God reward me for helping myself by giving me such exquisite timing with the train? Having such awesome timing certainly cheered me up. Was I rewarded for my patience and attempts to help myself by my roommate mentioning my blood sugar as a possible cause of my anger? Or was it all just random chance?<br />
<br />
Well, it was random chance in my favour, and thank God everything turned out well.<br />
<br />
My point (probably) is that religious faith can encourage you to help yourself, rather than live in denial. It can urge you to be <i>more</i> assertive of your health, especially if you hold the view that your life is precious to God, and you should do what you can to make it a good life. Not seeing a disconnect between faith and science also helps.<br />
<br />
<i>I'm going to attempt (emphasis on <b>attempt</b>) to hold to a bi-weekly posting schedule, God willing. I'm thinking Monday/Thursday. Whichever two days I manage to post next week will be the days.</i>Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-29826670179716037292011-10-03T22:36:00.000-07:002011-10-08T17:43:29.976-07:00Celebrating non-Eid holidays as a Muslim.<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody translationEligibleUserMessage" data-ft="{"type":3}">Holidays, ranging from one's birthday to Christmas, is something that converts tend to have issues with. Do we celebrate them or not? Are they forbidden or not? Is the secular celebration of Christmas, the warmth of family and friends in the cold of winter (or heat, if you're in the southern hemisphere, I suppose), the loving exchange of gifts, something to be avoided simply because it isn't one of <i>our</i> celebrations? Simply because of what it means to <i>some</i> people, when almost every American, regardless of their religious beliefs, celebrates this holiday?</span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody translationEligibleUserMessage" data-ft="{"type":3}"><a name='more'></a>I hear a lot, about a variety of subjects, that, "It's wrong." Or, "It's haram." Or, "Muslims shouldn't do this because it might lead them astray from their faith."</span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody translationEligibleUserMessage" data-ft="{"type":3}">If one's faith is so easily replaced, one doesn't have a good foundation in it and probably doesn't really believe it, anyway. Real faith isn't so easily tempted by the sparkles of a holiday that another faith started.</span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody translationEligibleUserMessage" data-ft="{"type":3}">Some say that celebrating non-Muslim holidays is bi'dah, or innovation, and is forbidden. Is it? No one's claiming Halloween/Thanksgiving/birthda<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break"></span>ys/or even a secularly-celebrated Christmas are <b>Islamic</b> holidays. Wouldn't <i>that</i> be the innovation, claiming that Thanksgiving is celebrated <i>because</i> we're Muslim, that Islam calls for it? Wouldn't holidays just fall under "culture," anyway? Islam didn't come to replace culture, it came to enhance it.</span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody translationEligibleUserMessage" data-ft="{"type":3}"></span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">People get worked up over the origins of holidays, but seriously - no one but pagans celebrate Halloween in a religious sense, and no one but Christians celebrate Christmas in a religious sense. And even a lot of <i>those</i> are in it for the consumerism.</span> </span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I celebrate Halloween because it's fun to dress up and get candy. I have precious few blue clothes so alas, I'm going as a kitty (again) this year, and not as the TARDIS.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I celebrate Thanksgiving because it's <i>Thanksgiving</i>, when you're thankful you have family and food and a roof over your head and clothes on your back.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I celebrate Christmas because I grew up celebrating Christmas, even when I didn't fully realise that it's celebrating the supposed birth of Jesus, peace be with him. I celebrate my family, food, and presents ... roughly in that order. And given that we have people trampling others to death and then getting angry when the police tell them to leave the store in the name of getting Christmas presents, I doubt a lot of the people who <i>do</i> view it as a religious holiday are being true to what it's supposed to mean.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I celebrate Easter because I like Easter egg hunting. Oaky, I don't celebrate Easter. I just like to dye, hide, and hunt eggs.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I don't celebrate St. Patrick's Day.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I celebrate the 4th of July because hey, fireworks.</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"> </span></span></h6>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">I celebrate my birthday because IT'S MAH BIRFDAY, FOO'! And I'm extremely glad that Mom took her life in her own hands when she let Dad put this lil' bun in her oven.</span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">The holidays I really have difficulty getting excited over are the two Muslim holidays, the festival (Eid) after Ramadan and the Eid after the pilgrimage days are over. I'm not around Muslims a lot, I don't have any Muslim family, and I'm not as active in the community as I'd like, due to transportation and money restrictions.</span><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"></span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">The meanings of holidays change over time, and shunning one based on what it <i>used</i> to represent is silly.</span> And as my friend pointed out, there's no harm in celebrating something if it doesn't go against your beliefs.</span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody translationEligibleUserMessage" data-ft="{"type":3}"> <br />
#DeepThoughts,Yo</span></span></h6>
Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-88019642570013798322011-05-13T20:44:00.000-07:002011-05-13T20:44:56.204-07:00Public shaming will help me succeed.DEAR EVERYONE!<br />
<br />
Good news! I have decided my life's path! Now to get God to agree with it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, God willing, I'll graduate in December with my Associate's. After that, I'm going to apply for, and be accepted to, CalArts' <a href="http://filmvideo.calarts.edu/programs/character-animation">BFA in Character Animation</a>.<br />
<br />
<br />
This is where you come in:<br />
<br />
I AM SPREADING THIS TALE ABOUT THE INTERNET SO THAT THE SHAME OF SO MANY PEOPLE KNOWING MY FAILURE WILL GUARANTEE THAT I SUCCEED. SHOULD I <i><u><b>NOT</b></u></i> SUCCEED, YOU MAY COMMENCE SHUNNING, JEERING, AND TAUNTING.<br />
<br />
DO THAT ANYWAY. MAKE ME SUCCEED.<br />
<br />
Thank you,<br />
MeHijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-8259078002349781712011-03-19T05:11:00.000-07:002011-03-19T05:11:02.953-07:00ONE YEAR AND ONE WEEK AGO ...I took my Shahada like a <i>champ</i>! It was amazing, and awesome; my Daddy, who doesn't quite agree with my religious choices, was there, supporting me like the totally awesome and amazing man I'm blessed to call Daddy. Which I still do. Stop judging me.<br />
<br />
So! It's been a crazy year. <i>Wow</i>. I do mean crazy. Right now, I find myself 3 quarters and 8 classes away from my Associate's degree (<i>finally</i>), still at my Restaurant of Awesome job and kicking butt & taking names, in possession of a new sister-in-law, psyching myself up to apply for a Pixar internship next spring, and more content and happy in my faith than in any faith I've ever tried or looked into.<br />
<br />
I was also sick with the flu for a week, then not sick for a week, and now I've got strep or something. My manager was <i>so</i> mad when I called in sick for the weekend, but what can you do?<br />
<br />
Over this past year, I've been blessed with so many amazing friends; I'm continually astounded by how much I'm loved. We've done amazing things this past year. I am so blessed. I'm looking forward to many more years with every.Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2261618780830787694.post-1528784795236754382011-03-08T01:17:00.000-08:002012-03-28T00:49:48.542-07:00A review of Captain Planet: Episode 1.<i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Planet_and_the_Planeteers">Captain Planet and the Planeteers</a> was an environmentalist cartoon that aired in the United States from September 15, 1990 through December 5, 1992. It ended two days before my sister was born, and I'm sure its cancellation is somehow her fault. I barely remember the show, more that it was cheesy, the theme song is amazing, and it started my love of blue men. So, I decided to watch the first episode again. And then I decided to review it.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
<i>All opinions are mine, and I'm making no money off of this. Captain Planet and the Planeteers is copyright <a href="http://www.turner.com/planet/">Turner Program Services</a> and DiC Entertainment.</i><br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
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We're told right off that "Our WORLD is in PERIL!" and that Gaia, Earth Goddess of Life that she is, has chosen 5 Earth children (because children are regularly effective at not being wasteful, but target demographic, and all). True to the 80s' need to be all-inclusive, they're ethnic and multinational.<br />
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Then there's a machine rampaging through the forest, and it almost stomps on a little bunny. RUN, BUNNY, RUN! Inside, a morbidly-obese, pig-like red-head and his The Hills Have Eyes-esque hick sidekick are drilling for oil "anywhere they feel like it," including right over Gaia's posh underwater mansion. She can't appear to afford a real bed.<br />
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Awakened from a century-long nap, Gaia needs to look at her suspiciously-high-tech television to find out what's wrong with, uhm, herself.<br />
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Surprise surprise, humans are being humans and the Earth's dying. She doesn't seem too concerned, merely remarks that "it's time for the rings," like you'd say "it's time to take out the trash." She sounds about as enthused, as well.<br />
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Then we're lead through our 5 "very special kids." First is Kwame, planting trees in Africa, where he finds a ring that would start a civil war, if anyone found him with it.<br />
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In Asia, Gi is swimming with a dolphin when it gives her a ring.<br />
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In North America, at night, Wheeler stops a thug from beating up a guy when the freaking burning trash can beside him explodes, inexplicably causing no damage yet spitting out a ring that doesn't hurt him in the slightest. I bet he's Canadian. They have super powers like that.<br />
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Out in Soviat Russia, ring finds Lenka! As she's playing on some high-tech-looking gizmo that may or may not be an electric accordian, two birds fly up, one with a glowing ring in its mouth. As with Kwame, Lenka would probably be killed for her ring.<br />
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In South America, Mowgli - I mean, Ma-Ti interrupts the circle of life by saving a baby monkey from a hungry leopard who probably only wants to feed her cubs. By just standing and looking sternly at it. That'll show THAT cat to feed their family! Mowgli - I mean, Ma-Ti picks up the monkey, and instead of biting him and giving him East Nile SARS, the monkey gives him a ring. Worth enough to start a civil war.<br />
<br />
I'm starting to think Gaia's just a bitch.<br />
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All the kids apparently put their rings on at the same time, and even though Mowgli and Wheeler are the only ones conceivably in the same general daylight zone, Wheeler's the only one putting his on at night.<br />
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"These, then," we're told, "are my first Planeteers."<br />
<br />
Pardon my asking, but why your "first" Planeteers? Are you thinking of adding more in the future, Ms. Gaia? Say, when civil war and murder have offed the current ones? Civil war and murder caused by sending them magic rings worth more than their countries?<br />
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The Planeteers are then magically teleported to Hope Island. Immediately taking charge, Wheeler demands, "Yo, hey lady, you wanna explain what's going on here?!" (Definitely from the US) Gaia smiles benignly, already planning his murder, no doubt.<br />
<br />
Everyone speaks English in appropriate accents. Wheeler immediately accosts Lenka, telling her, "Hey, love your accent, babe! You Russian?" whilst winking at her and totally getting all up in her personal space. She tells him, "SOVIET! Please, go away." Rather than taking the hint that no means no, Wheeler professes to "Love it!"<br />
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After being told that they each partially control one element, Gaia simply tells each kid what their power is, and they know that by simply saying the name of their element, their powers are activated. Wheeler is, predictably, an ass.<br />
<br />
It's worth noting that Mowgli just KNOWS his power is Heart, and that he can hear the thoughts and feel the feelings of his new team-mates, who are suffering no psychological trauma from this at all. Where's anti-mutant legislation when you need it?<br />
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They're also told that they'll be a team, now and forever. Of course Gaia wouldn't tell them they might be murdered, now, would she? But there's NO TIME TO PRACTICE, GUYS! Gaia should have woken up from her nap earlier. No, she sends them out immediately fight Hoggish Greedly and Rigger, who has <i>some</i> environmental awareness, at least.<br />
<br />
Asian driver licenses apparently come with a "jet plane" subclass, as Gi flies them effortlessly to their destination. Lenka is lamenting the fact that Gaia can't be with them, so Mowgli calls up her giant, disembodied head. Apparently she has to stay on Hope Island and send these five inexperienced kids to do her dirty work.<br />
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We also learn that ANY mention of the words "Earth," "Wind," "Fire," "Water," and "Spirit" call up those respective powers. I guess Gi will start having to ask for glasses of agua from now on. And Wheeler will have to start referring to it as a "burning wood place." Does it work in their native languages, I wonder?<br />
<br />
When asked about situations they can't handle, Gaia leaves them with the enigmatic "Well, just put your powers together! Then you'll <i>really</i> be surprised!" Way to help these kids plan their missions, Gaia. Amazingly, Wheeler's the only one concerned with Gaia's <i>lack</i> of concern over their wellfare.<br />
<br />
Approaching Greedly, Rigger is concerned about the plane. Greedly's reaction? Logically, to spray them with oil. BP? Enron? One of your guys is loose. This oil-encasing of the plane causes it to dive from the sky. Why? How? Can crude oil <i>do</i> that to planes? I don't know, I just watch this stuff.<br />
<br />
All is seemingly lost, but then Kwame has an idea! Lenka's wind power! She has Wheeler blow off the side door of the jet, and amazingly, the decompression neither kills anyone nor sucks them out of the plane. A tornado and a new island later, the Planeteers are safe!<br />
<br />
Rigger points out the impossibility of the new island showing up, and Greedly impossibly knows the jet is full of kids.<br />
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Greedly threatens to oil the animals if he's attacked. They decide to combine their powers for the first time, and BAM! Sailor Moon transformation sequence!<br />
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No, just kidding, Grand Admiral Thrawn shows up. I'm serious. This guy's Grand Admiral Thrawn. LOOK AT HIM.<br />
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<center><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2010-05-03-captainplanet1.jpg" width="197" /><img border="0" height="320" src="http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/11/117581/1693502-thrawncedf_super.jpg" width="230" /><br />
I need me some hot blue lovin'.</center><br />
<br />
Grand Admiral Thrawn - I mean, Captain Planet flies around and scares off Greedly. I'd be scared, too. That's a freaking Imperial Grand Admiral!<br />
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Explaining that he's their powers combined and magnified, and therefore the Planeteers are useless while he's around, Grand Admiral Planet flies off to take care of the spill and Greedly as the kids help the animals. He caps the oil spill with a rock (someone should show this to BP) and has to hurry back to pick up the pipeline, since we "musn't litter!"<br />
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Rigger is astounded (I'm guessing right now that Rigger spends a lot of his time astounded in this series) that Captain Thrawn cleaned the oil spill, and notes that he's coming after them now - and manages to chuck the huge pipe into a trash can perfectly, without damaging the trash can.<br />
<br />
Catching Thrawn in their machine's grip, Rigger tries to stab him in the chest with a giant machine knife, or drill, or whatever. It tickles Planet Thrawn, who then wraps the claws around themselves and starts sparkling as he talks about how fun this is, and having trash to take out.<br />
<br />
Captain Thrawn Cullen rips Rigger out of the machine and puts him in the OTHER garbage can, then confronts Greedly, who has a toxic waste gun handy with which to blast Captain Sparklypants.<br />
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This proves his undoing, and he falls to the ground, where Team Edward rushes over to help him. Kwame very intelligently puts his hands all over the toxic waste covering Captain Cullen, whose Iron Man chest starts glowing.<br />
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Rendered useless without her powers, Gi can't summon water to wash Thrawn off, but Lenka remembers that hey, they have hands, they can still bing water the old-fashioned way! Meanwhile, Greedly tries to crush Captain Cullen with his several-thousand-pound oil drilling machine, who is saved by a rock that is, at best, half Captain Cullen's height.<br />
<br />
Returning with a vest full of water, Gi and Lenka wash enough toxic waste off of Captain Thrawn for the sun to recharge Iron Man's chest battery and escape certain he's-totally-just-gonna-go-back-to-being-your-powers-if-he's-crushed doom.<br />
<br />
And then he sparkles some more.<br />
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He sparkles as he escapes not-really death. He sparkles as he flies. He sparkles as he beats the crud out of Greedly's machine and causes it to crash. You know, the machine with the toxic waste pump in it. Greedly gets away, and they all sit down for a pow-wow with Grand Admiral Planet Cullen.<br />
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Declaring that "The POWER is YOURRRRRRS!", he goes back to their rings. Which is a good thing, because Team Edward needs them to clean off the oil-soaked wildlife. It's not like they could have used <a href="http://www.dawn-dish.com/en_US/savingwildlife.do">Dawn dish soap</a> or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGcZrqP4f98">anything</a>.<br />
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Wheeler bitches about them cleaning up the mess even though they didn't make it, and Lenka calls him her "sweet little imperialist dog," which makes this the best cartoon, ever. Wheeler is then licked by a walrus that really would have bitten his face off.<br />
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And then we get a Sailor Says ending, talking about turning lights off, carpooling, fighting oil spills, etc. And then we get <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo0D6bzxLLw&feature=related">the most awesome ending song, ever</a>.<br />
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I'm serious. Watch this and see if you're not blown away:<br />
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Did I mention that this was produced by DiC, which <i>also</i> did the original Sailor Moon dub?<br />
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Epic.Hijabi Waitresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12066046318886861776noreply@blogger.com1