And then lo and behold, tonight I opened my OKC messages and this wondrous gem was waiting for me, by the charming and eloquent LordSai.
I mean, what a catch, right? Clearly this man is my soulmate - he is a gentleman who knows exactly what to say to win a lady's heart. Amirite, ladies?
After reporting my would-be suitor's messages as harassment, a rape threat, and harassment, respectively, I pondered how best to express my joy at his messages and yet sorrow at invoking his anger, and finally settled on the following:
O frabjous day, callooh, callay! Look at how compatible we are!
On relationships involving existing children:
On respecting a friend's relationship:
On grammar and respecting women:
On basic hygiene:
On a woman's right to determine when she has a child:
On being a decent person and basic science (aka common sense):
Truly, my love is the pinnacle of human achievement.