God is not all you need when you have a problem.

Warning: I discuss mental illness and briefly mention suicide in this post.

I get really upset when people tell others to only talk with God about their problems. "Don't talk to others - they don't care. Just tell God everything. Talk to God. God is all you need."

Look, I'm not discounting the psychological value of talking out your problems to a higher power or even your cat - Dave got to listen to a teary few minutes last night - but telling people to never talk with other humans about their problems is dangerous.

I'm mentally ill. Quite often - especially when I've got no active outside input - it's really, really hard for me to distinguish between reality and what I've convinced myself is going on.

Pay a friend to draw me something, but they haven't after a month or so? I will freak. The fuck. Out. I will convince myself that they don't like me, that they forgot, that they don't care, that everyone else is more important to them than me, that me asking them about it will be seen as needy and pushy and ungrateful. I will learn later that they've got an art queue and haven't gotten to my piece yet, and feel like shit for jumping to conclusions, but my point is, active outside input about your problems - especially your mental and emotional problems - is important for your mental health.

Not just for the mentally ill, either. Your brain will trick you into thinking the worst - or the best, which will cause you the worst - because your brain is evil. People need constant feedback on everything they do. Not always active feedback, but feedback. Communication from others. This is how we flesh out and exchange ideas. This is how you tell when someone on the bus doesn't want to interact with you. This is how you let people know that You Are Not Ok And You Need Help. Keeping things bottled up is so detrimental to your health.*

I inadvertently take things to the extreme, but look, active outside input about my problems prevented me from needing to be hospitalized recently. I'm not discounting God in this - I thank God for putting those people in my life to help me through my issues. But I would quite possibly be on the verge of suicide right now (and certainly in the hospital as a suicide risk) if I'd only talked with God - because God does not talk back. God does not sit with you until three in the morning and comfort you, tell you you're not a terrible person, that yes, you made mistakes, but you didn't deserve the abuse you received in return. God doesn't provide a stable voice when you're in a crisis. God is not physically or verbally there.

And that's what you need when you're having issues. You need people to be able to ground you in reality, to hold your hand no matter how metaphorically, to stroke your hair and let you soak their shirt in tears, to tell you that you're worth something - that you're worth a lot.

I can't call God up in the middle of the night and hear Their voice. I can't text God, or PM God, or hug God, or get real-time feedback from God on my thoughts, emotions, and actions.

But God has given me living, breathing, present people to do that in Their stead. And that should never be discounted or diminished.

*This may not always apply. People with anxiety will often find it more stressful to talk about their problems that not - but keeping problems bottled up is still bad for you. Even one trusted person to talk with about them helps.

Here is a list of useful resources if you're depressed, suicidal, have anxiety, need help finding a therapist, etc.

What's so bad about being unashamedly yourself?

This blog post (trigger warning for eating disorders) about Luna Lovegood and how people who are just being themselves, unashamedly, are treated when they don't fall into a socially-constructed "norm" has me thinking.

"You laughed hysterically at one of Ron’s quips and didn’t stop to excuse yourself and feel ashamed when it became clear that everyone found you strange. ... [Y]ou carried your oddness like it was the most natural thing in the world. You didn’t market your oddness as your defining feature the way some insecure teenagers do, in guise of confidence and security. And nor were you oblivious to the awkward and uncomfortable feelings your oddness provoked in others. When, unable to comprehend how you wore your oddness so honestly and unashamedly, your peers reverted to mockery and bullying, you recognised this as a reflection of their own deep-seated insecurity and calmly let them carry on, quite above your head. You weren’t trying hard to present a certain aspect of yourself that would boldly identify you in the world. And that’s when it occurred to me how bizarre and positively ridiculous it was to apply the word “weird” to describe you, when you represented the most natural and unpretentious state possible to be; you were yourself."

Faith in God: I has it. Part II.

This is the second installment in the Faith in God: I Has It series. It'll last as long as my conversation with the lady on Jezebel lasts. And I might add in other parts. Who knows? Donavenesque's reply was short than I had thought, so her reply, and my return reply, are both in this post.

Faith in God: I has it. Part I.

In addition to posting Deep and Meaningful Thoughts(tm) on Facebook, I also post them in the comments on Jezebel, a feminist website.


A week or so there was a post on how some blogger supposedly overcame her rheumatoid arthritis by the power of Jesus alone, and was walking around in high heels. She also told rape/molestation survivors that all they needed to do was put their faith in Jesus, put on makeup, and wear high heels in order to overcome their trauma.


Some people were trashing on the woman for being so dismissive of, and giving such harmful and insensitive advice to, rape/molestation survivors. There were the requisite "Jesus HEELED me and saved my SOLE!" cracks. And some people were trashing on the blogger's religion.


One of the commentators posted that she was always irritated that religion only seemed to come up in derisive stories, and as she was basically Christian, would love positive, interesting stories from people of other faiths.


This is an edited-for-the-blog version of what I told her. It's going to be a series. Her reply will follow, and mine after that.