A Queer Guide to Islamic Modesty

Note: If you're just joining the parade of ultra-cool awesome that is my blog, I'm queer-friendly. LGBTQIA all up in this bizniz. I'm asexual, possibly demisexual - it takes a deep emotion connection before I'm anywhere near comfortable having sex, but I'd just as soon not have it. I'm panromantic - I can, and do, fall in love regardless of gender or sex. I identify as queer, and I reject what mainstream interpretations of Islam say about same-sex relationships and non-gender binary people.

I'm not going to argue this. I don't need a lecture. I don't need it pointed out that mainstream interpretations of Islam hold that it's a sin to be anything but heterosexual. I'll go into detail later, but don't bother commenting if you're just going to concern-troll about my soul or tell me I can't be non-heterosexual and Muslim (sexuality and faith aren't mutually exclusive, I mean really, that's ridiculous) or just squeal that I'm wrong. Just ... just don't.

So, you're queer and you're Muslim. Awesome! Welcome to the club! Your secret decoder ring is in the mail, along with an illustrated guide to the secret handshake - it's complicated.

Or maybe you're not one, the other, or both, and you just want to know how to navigate our super-gay modern world successfully.

If you're wondering if it's possible to be both queer and Muslim, and maybe thinking that Sodom and Gomorra (the most popular citation for gay-is-a-sin ridiculousness) were destroyed for having a gay population, let me just ask you this: is it more likely that God lobbed an asteroid at them for allowing consenting, adult, loving same-sex relationships, or because they were an inhospitable bunch of completely immoral people who were trying to rape angels? Does God get pissier at consensual relationships or rape?

It's up to you to decide for yourself, but my money's on rape being considered more asteroid-worthy than consenting sex. And if anyone thinks that rape is less heinous than being gay, go jump off a cliff because you're a terrible human being.

Another theory is that if you look at the original translations of the old religous documents, it wasn't rape that pissed God off about Sodom and Gomorra, it's that men were having unprotected anal sex with other men, then then bringing diseases home to their wives. God wanted to stop the epidemic that this was causing, and pretty much killing all the disease vectors was the most efficient way of doing that.

Which is not to say that God was against gay sex - God was against unprotected gay sex while pretending to be straight and infecting unknowing partners, and the monks who transcribed all this didn't understand that God was talking about STDs being spread by unsafe sexual practices.

Anyway, presenting:

Larissa's Queer Guide to Islamic Modesty

First, let me define some terms for those readers not familiar with LGBT*QIA vernacular.

The alphabet soup just mentioned: Stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans(gender/sexual), Queer/Questioning, Intersexed, Asexual. Basically, anything not heterosexual or cisgendered.

Cisgendered: Also cissexual. When one's physical sex is the same as one's mental gender.

Sex: The genetic identification of sex - breasts/vagina for women, penis/testicles for men, variations thereof for intersexed people.

Gender: One's mental sex; the self-identification of being male, female, both, or neither.

Intersexed: Also hermaphrodite, but that's an outdated term so don't use it. Physical characteristics of both sexes.

Trans: Transgender or transexual. When one's gender doesn't match one's sex, i.e., physically and genetically female but mentally male.

Queer: Somewhat controversial umbrella term for anyone not heterosexual or cisgendered.

Asexual: Having a natural lack of sexual attraction to others, with varying degrees of libido. Not to be confused with celibacy or being abstinent - which involve not acting on a present desire for sex, as opposed to not having that desire in the first place.

My childhood © NBC and the early 90s

The Qur'an assumes that, in general, people are going to be attracted to the opposite sex  - which most people are.

How do the modesty rules apply when dealing with queer and trans people, then? Technically, because the Qur'an doesn't mention having to cover my sexy bits around women but having to cover them around men, I don't have to cover around lesbians/bi/pan/poly women, who will find me sexually attractive 'cause I'm totes hawt, but I do have to cover around gay men, who will not find me sexually attractive because I present as female, both physically and mentally. With trans folk, it can be more confusing.

But, if read more generally as the Qur'an saying cover up around people who will find you sexually attractive, then you should cover as much as is required for being around the opposite gender.

Men and women both should ideally wear loose clothing. Sorry, dudes, those super-tight muscle shirts just don't make the cut.

For shame. Cover yourselves!

Public shaming © 141characters

For men, their awrah (the parts they have to cover when in public) is the same no matter what setting - from the navel to knee. Most societies - Muslim-run and not - have extended this to encompass the torso as well.

For women, their private (amongst family and other women) awrah is the same as men's awrah, but their public one is generally said to consist of everything except for their hands and faces, and for some scholars, their feet. There is much lively debate on this, but that's the general consensus so let's go with that to start with, and y'all can adjust it as you see fit.

Navigating modesty requirements in a queer setting also poses unique issues - do I cover if they're bisexual? What if they're a woman, but transitioned from a man (a transwoman)? What if they're a transwoman but are attracted to women? A transwoman who is attracted to men? A transman attracted to women, or a transman attracted to men? What if they're asexual? What do you do about romantic attraction?

My basic rule for sexual attraction is: if you know they're attracted to your gender, then cover your public awrah around them. If you don't know for absolute sure, then don't, unless you can find a non-rude way of asking, and every way I can think of right now is rude.

Romantic attraction is trickier. Personally, I'm never going to want to have sex with you, but I might fall in love with your during the course of our friendship. Do I always cover around everyone, or do the rules for modesty only apply to sexual attraction?

I'm inclined to think the latter. From what I know, the modesty rules are meant to keep sexual attraction at a minimum, so that mutual respect and solid relationships can be fostered without the urge to hump like rabbits clouding people's judgements.

Awww, bunnies!

Adorable bunnies who don't want to see your sexin's © portraitspatates

Another thing to consider is if you have to cover because you are attracted to their gender, regardless of their attraction to you. Let us consider the following hadith:

Once a blind man came into the house of Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam). The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) told Ummul Mumineen Aisha (radi Allahu anha) to go behind a curtain. She replied, “O Prophet of Allah, he is blind. How can he see us?” The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “He may be blind, but you are not blind.” [Ahmad]

Full disclosure: I am very suspicious about ahadith. There are a lot of fabricated ones, and people mix up ones meant for a particular time/place/situation/person with ones meant to apply to all times/places/situations/people, and often don't include the cultural context - and sometimes there's a mistranslation that screws up the hadith (the whole siwak/shirak thing in regards to allegedly being able to beat one's wife {it starts at 16:50, but the whole thing is worth watching} comes to mind).

That said, this hadith - while talking to one of the Prophet's wives (who were under different rules than other women on account of being the wives of the Prophet of God) and refers to an actual barrier and not a piece of clothing - has been interpreted as forbidding all visual contact with non-related men, but can also be read as reminding people that they need to be modest not only because of the attraction they may provoke in others, but also to limit their own personal temptations.

By limiting your own temptations, you remind yourself that modesty begins inside you, and is a projection of not only how others see you, but of how you see yourself.

Or, you know, it could just be something that was directed at the Prophet's wives and only the Prophet's wives.

So that's it. That's my long-winded post. I hope you enjoyed it - and if you're queer and Muslim or considering converting, and you need someone to talk to about it, feel free to contact me for resources and no-judgement support.

Controversial Opinion Time

And it's about hijab, because not nearly enough people talk about hijab, amirite?!

"You're fucking ridiculous" © Ainee

Naturally, if this doesn't apply to you then I'm not talking to you, so shhhhhhh.

Picture from uproxx.com

Basically, if you don't like hijab, don't wear it.

THIS FUCKING SHIT RIGHT HERE

Because seriously. THIS FUCKING SHIT RIGHT HERE.

Photo © fucking assholes

Warning: Sometimes I Feel Things Very Strongly and start swearing. This behavior is absolutely normal. Do not be alarmed.

My reply below. BECAUSE THIS FUCKING SHIT RIGHT HERE.

Hijab treats a symptom; it's not a cure

Note: I'm not a scholar. All of my opinions are gathered from reading, researching, and my own personal prayers and contemplations - commonly known as ijtihad. I'm not a scholar. I just think for myself. If there is any historical inaccuracy in my posts, please politely let me know and link me to reliable sources. Thank you.

So let's talk about hijab, because the world doesn't talk about it nearly enough. I, however, have Very Strong Opinions on this, and it's my blog, so I'll state my Very Strong Opinions if I want to.

Ramadan secrets

Before I begin, let me preface this post with this:

These are my thoughts and my feelings. I will not accept anyone delegitimizing or silencing them. I will not accept anyone telling me that I'm wrong, or I'm doing something wrong, or I just need to pray more/try harder/etc.

This blog is an honest look at the life of a convert in a Muslim-minority country. I post very blunt things here, in the knowledge that if I'm thinking and/or feeling them, then someone else is, too - and that someone, those someones, need to know that they're not alone.

You are not alone. Even when it feels that way. And if you feel the way that I do in this post, you are normal. There's no shame in what I'm about to post. There is shame in trying to shame people about it.

That said, I don't like Ramadan.

Advice for Converts (and Lax Muslims)

Someone on Jezebel messaged me because while they converted two years ago, they're not really practicing, and neither is their husband. They want to learn more, and asked me for advice. This is the novel I wrote in return.

The trials and tribulations of an American hijabi

My Jezebel friend Effie definitely helped me out with this one, so she gets co-server credit!

What, another post about Muslim women wearing hijab? I've already talked about it here, here, here, and most heart-wrenchingly (trust me, my heart was wrenched as I wrote it), here.

I've talked about my problems with loved ones not being able to come to terms with my hijab (which I believe has since happened, as there haven't been any more confrontations or talk about it from either of us), about how special and secure and comfortable hijab makes me feel, about how it's helped me to spread awareness about Islam, about how people automatically think I'm not American because of it, and about how I love that hijab makes me visibly Muslim.

But there's another side to this, a far more frustrating side, and that's what I want to discuss candidly here: how difficult it is to be a visibly Muslim woman in America.

Logical Faith

Looks like Mondays and Thursdays are my scheduled posting days. We'll see how this goes. :)

I was told recently that once one knew the rules of a faith (Islam, in this case), once one knew what God wanted one to do, then one couldn't possibly apply logic to the rules, only blindly follow.

I took issue with this.

I came to Islam through a logical process. I've tried being atheist. It didn't work. Agnosticism only worked slightly better. The thought of multiple gods, though appealing at one point in my life, was no longer working. I've always felt a spiritual power in life, whether or not I identified it as such. Buddhism and Taoism, though paths that I greatly admire and respect, don't quite do it for me. It seems there's something more, something they don't quite get, to my mind. I never got the concept of the Trinity in Christianity, either.

Muslims: Trust more, forbid less.

This is mainly about adoption, but will go into other things.

For my non-Muslim readers, when you adopt in Islam, the children aren't considered your blood relatives - thus, the rules for non-blood relatives still apply, such as women covering in front of men, no touching between the genders after the onset of puberty, and so forth.

This started with me being irritated that I get flack for being honest with my Muslim friends and telling them that I want to adopt and/or foster --- mainly this comes up when they ask for what qualities I want in a spouse; I'm not just randomly offering this information. A lot of them have brought up that I'll need to cover around male children, or that if my daughters choose to cover, they'll have to cover around my husband. Also brought up is the question of, "What if your husband develops feelings for the girl?" Also, probably what if I develop feelings for a boy. That's probably implied. These are put out as examples of why I shouldn't adopt and/or foster, despite the fact that adopting and fostering is a very Islamic thing to do, as evidenced by Zayd, the adopted son of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be with him).

To the one I love: Back off my hijab.

I love you.  You are amazing.  You are intelligent, you are funny, you are inquisitive, you are strong, you are sassy, you are beautiful.  You are one of my favourite people, and I love telling others how much I love you.  I love, have always loved, and will always love, that you are a part of my life.

But I need you to back off my hijab.  I need you to stop asking why I wear it, because I've explained it to you several times.  I need you to not insinuate anymore that women who cover their heads because they believe that God wants them to haven't yet come into the 21st century (Catholics, Muslims, Jews, anyone).  The idea that I'm somehow stuck in the 7th century simply because I, and I alone, choose to not show anything but my face and hands to men who aren't related to me is insulting, rude, and, depending on how you're phrasing it, hurtful.

Love (because I do love you), my intelligence, strength, sense of humour, and strength don't diminish every time I put my hijab on.  My IQ doesn't diminish point by point with every layer that goes around my head.  The tightness of my hijab doesn't squeeze out my individuality, nor my sense of self, nor my self-esteem --- though sometimes it can make hearing and/or breathing a bit difficult, depending on the thickness of the material and how badly I've wrapped and pinned it.  Also, I'm just deaf sometimes.

Why I don't care about people depicting Muhammad (pbuh) in pictures.

Throughout the past few years, there have been numerous examples of people depicting the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in artwork, be it Danish cartoons, International Draw Muhammad Day, or South Park --- which, ironically, portrayed him as part of a group of superhero-esque prophets, and not negatively.

Simply put: The Muhammad that's depicted in vile cartoons, showing him with a bomb in his turban, or as a pig, etc., the Muhammad that was depicted during International Draw Muhammad Day, isn't my Muhammad.

My Prophet didn't kill for pleasure or gain; he went to war because he was attacked, his people oppressed.  My Muhammad didn't call for the killing of innocent lives; he expressly forbade it.  My Muhammad wasn't a paedophile, either.

Do you agree with this quote? Part 1.

Welcome to a new series I've decided to do.  Every week or so, I'm going to post a quote that I found online, just as an experiment, to see if people agree with what's being said.  Some slight changes have been made to the wording, but I'll post the full quotes, including the person being quoted, when I'm done with the series.


Quote #1


"This is the first demand we must raise and do: that our people be set free, that these chains be burst asunder, that America be once again captain of her soul and master of her destinies, together with all those who want to join America.

And the fulfillment of this first demand will then open up the way for all the other reforms.  And here is one thing that perhaps distinguishes us from you as far as our program is concerned, although it is very much in the spirit of things: our attitude to the Muslim problem.

For us, this is not a problem you can turn a blind eye to-one to be solved by small concessions.  For us, it is a problem of whether our nation can ever recover its health, whether the Muslim spirit can ever really be eradicated.  Don't be misled into thinking you can fight a disease without killing the carrier, without destroying the bacillus.  Don't think you can fight racial tuberculosis without taking care to rid the nation of the carrier of that racial tuberculosis.  This Muslim contamination will not subside, this poisoning of the nation will not end, until the carrier himself, the Muslim, has been banished from our midst."

Do you agree with this quote?

Ramadan, Eid, and September 11th.

Here's a bit of a history, religious, and cultural lesson for everyone who's not Muslim.

There are two basic calendars that humans go by.  One is the solar calendar, which marks the days, months, and years by the sun.  This is the one that the Gregorian calendar, the calendar that most Western countries go by, is based on.

The second major calendar is the lunar calendar.  This tracks the months and seasons by the moon.  The timing is different that the solar calendar, because the moon goes through a steady 28-day cycle, whereas the solar calendar, or at least the Gregorian version of it, divides the months of the year into 30- or 31-day months, with one 28-day month, for 365 days, except for every four years, when February has 29 days ... It's kinda a mess, actually, and the days aren't even 24 hours long; hence the leap year, and leap second.  Therefor, in an entirely lunar calendar (which is what Islam uses), the months drift by about 11-12 days each year, and rotate back about every 33 lunar years.

The most widely used lunar calendar is really a mix of the lunar and solar calendars, with months put in to bridge the gap between the lunar and solar years.

All right, now that we know all of this, let's talk about the Islamic calendar and how it's used to celebrate holidays.

Oppressing the "oppressed."

I read a lot of comments online (I shouldn't, I know), and the people that I should be ignoring often make comments such as this:


"Free liberated women should be just that. Wherever they are. They shouldn’t hide from being photographed with backward burqa shrouded shadows, instead they should proudly present themselves as women, free, liberated and capable." (In reference to a picture of the-First Lady Laura Bush posing with three Saudi women; one in hijab, one in niqab, and one a burka)


So ... you who make these comments think that my religious attire is oppressive, yet instead of worrying about my education or health or even, at the bare minimum, asking my opinions on my religion, you do exactly what you claim my garb incites people to do, namely treat me like a non-entity?  Instead of proving that you think higher of me than you claim the men of my religion do, you use my attire as an excuse to treat me exactly like they supposedly do.


Instead of showing me through your actions that you think of me differently, that you think I'm a worthwhile human being and deserve to be treated as such, you treat me the same.  You call me backward, a shadow, assume that I'm uneducated because my face and hands are the most ok,f my flesh that you can see, and sometimes you can't even see that.  I wonder, then, would you treat me like a super-genius queen if I were to walk around naked, since you seem to think that my worth is related to how much skin you can see?  No, you would treat me like a piece of meat that you can bang however, whenever you want, regardless of my feelings on the matter.  You would call me cheap, a slut, a tramp.

A Family Crises.

Steve

Before I converted, I briefly dated a very intelligent, thoughtful, open-minded man who happened to be a convert to Judaism.  I forget his Jewish name, but his birth-name was Steve.  We broke up for reasons unrelated to either of our religious beliefs (I was pagan or agnostic at the time; can't remember which).

Throughout our relationship, Steve was very adamant about there being a huge difference between Israeli Jews and Zionism, and the rest of the world's Jewry.  He tried to go over and volunteer in the IDF every year,  but he was still very firm in that Zionism did not equal Judaism, and once told me that Jews aren't even supposed to set foot on the Holy Land until the Messiah comes, and that even if Moses himself (peace be upon him) were chasing him, all Steve would do would be to go into Israel and Moses wouldn't be able to follow him.  Steve was upset about the Israeli-Palestinian BS, but he still respected and understood that not every Jew and every Muslim hated each other.  He knew that it was a mainly political mess that was using religion to further its cause.  Steve was also the one who told me that the word "Messiah" is talking about a political leader, not the spiritual leader that most Christians hold it to mean.

Changing perceptions.

I have a special thing to post about!

I have a regular customer, Bill.  He's been coming in for a few weeks, and he's really cool to talk to.  So, like everyone, he was curious about my hijab and why I wear it, and why I'm Muslim.  I've been explaining things to him, slowly, and he's been wonderful in realising that his misconceptions were just that, and changing his way of thinking.

I've explained to him about hijab: it's about respect for God's command for me to be modest, first and foremost, and if a woman is wearing hijab as a religious garment (some hijabi's aren't Muslim, or even religious) for any other primary reason, then she's wearing it for the wrong reason.  Wearing hijab has to be for God first, then yourself, then other people.  I've explained that I wear it because I choose to wear it, and that no man can force me to, that no matter how unIslamic my actions might be, no one can force me to not do them; it's between me and God.

The West is not the Devil, and most Muslims don't think that. So shut up.

I was born in the United States; Ogden, Utah, to be precise.  My mother was born in Utah.  Her parents were born in Utah.  My father and his family were born and raised in Humboldt County, in Northern California.  The earliest evidence of my family being in the US is that I know that my Dad's side got here during the mid-1800's; I do know that I'm related to both Confederate General and President Taylor.  My ancestry is German, French, English mutt, and maybe a bit Swiss.  I'm as Caucasian as they get.

I was raised in the small Northern Californian town of Fortuna.  Except for living in Sacramento for 7th, half of 8th, and all of 9th grade, I lived in Fortuna until I graduated high school.  Fortuna is small, and boring --- dear God, is it boring.  The nearest entertainment, if it could be called that, is in Eureka, a 20-minute car drive up Highway 101 (yes, the Eureka that's on California's state seal).  Yeah, we have a theatre in Fortuna.  It had one whole screen until about ten years ago, maybe a little earlier.  Then it got a whopping three screens.  We got our fourth traffic light no later than 2001, the year before I graduated high school.

Of licences and hijabs.

As mentioned in this post, I recently renewed my drivers licence and got a new picture taken, in hijab. There was a hijabi girl there taking her initial test; we waved and grinned at each other.

What I want to address in this post is the issue of hijabis and their driver licence photos.  I was at Dad's tonight (last night; whatever --- Monday night) and my licence had come in the mail.  I squee'd and showed it off.  My stepmom expressed surprised that they'd let me keep my hijab on for it.  I pointed out to my stepmom, when she noted that I could change my hair and look different, that I could go out and get a buzz-cut and look different.  I also noted that you're not required to get a new licence photo taken, and that I've seen plenty of licences that look almost nothing like the people showing them to me.  A new hair cut, extreme weight loss or gain, a new hair colour, lack or appearance of makeup ... heck, even simple ageing can make one look drastically different than one's licence photo.  Me wearing hijab isn't any different.  I'll be wearing it when I show it to people, too, and my basic facial structure is still the same.

She agreed with me, and the whole exchange got me thinking about licence photos in general, and licences as a hijabi in particular.



Going further, until they create a licence photo that changes in real-time with your appearance, a drivers licence photograph is just a point of reference, something to go off of.  A police officer isn't going to be suspicious of someone with brown hair giving them a blonde-haired licence, nor of someone with an obviously obese picture being much thinner, or vice-versa.  When I check ID's, I look for similar facial structures, things that makeup and weight can't change unless it's an extreme circumstance.

I'm comparing my old licence and my new licence right now.  Other than the hijab, the differences that I note are that my eyebrows are thicker now, I'm tilting my head up more, I'm wearing lipstick, and I'm smiling wider, which narrows my eyes just a tad.  Yes, I do look different, but there's honestly no mistaking the two licences as belonging to different people.  Also, I chewed on the upper left corner of my old licence.  Yum.

Now, there is the issue of niqabis and women wearing the traditional Afghani burka when they get their licences.  I understand freedom of religion; believe me, I do.  I fought for it when I was pagan, I fought for it when I was agnostic/atheist, and I fight for it now that I'm Muslim.  There needs, however, to be an understanding of when religious practices are harmful to the person practising them, and when they're just an irritation to some other people in society.  Take the following two images:

There is an inherent problem with covering that much of one's face in a document meant to provide visual identification of a person.  If the licence is stolen, all the thief has to do is put on a niqab or, even better, a burka, and chances are no one will be able to tell the difference --- taking into account the relative heights and weights of the two people, and skin/eye colourings in the case of the niqabi.  This is dangerous to the niqabi.  If a niqabi (and here I'm also referring to women wearing the burka, as in the picture on the bottom) is in a situation where her niqab/burka is removed, she has no way of assuring authorities that she is who she claims to be, as they don't have the visual identification meant to be provided by her licence.  Worse, in the case that the niqabi is the victim of a fire, or has been murdered and mutilated, as her ID is all the authorities have to go by, there's no way to know that she is who her ID says.  Yes, police can go to her home and look at pictures, but again, is the niqab or burka-clad woman in the licence photo the woman in the photos at the apartment or house?

Yes, I do know that family members and spouses could ID the body.  I don't mean to fear-monger, either, and you'll notice that I'm staying away from the whole "the niqab and burka are dangerous to America and its citizens" argument.  I don't think they are.  I think what's dangerous are people who are going to treat others as non-entities simply because they can't see a person's eyes/face/hair.

Regardless, my main concern with wearing niqab or the burka in licence photos is the safety of the woman.  Our religion requires a woman to guard her most alluring parts from the gazes of men.  Trust me, hair is a very alluring part of a woman --- complete strangers used to come up to me and, just as people think it's completely fine to touch a pregnant stranger, found no issue with invading my personal space to fondle my hair.  However, Islam has, from the start, relaxed the rules when following the rules will do more harm than good.  Broken leg?  Pray sitting down.  Throwing-up sick?  Pray laying down.  On the verge of starvation?  Eat all the pork you need.  Can't make Hajj to Mecca?  Donate money or pay someone else to go.  Poor?  Don't worry about zakat, or giving to charity.  Muslim Mongol soldiers a few centuries ago drinking alcohol?  Give them more, because a drunken, passed-out soldier is better than a rampaging, raping, and murdering one.  The only help available to you is of the opposite gender, and you can't move without their help?  They're permitted to help you as much as possible.

In this situation, I think that Muslim women need to realise that wearing their niqab or burka in their license photo does them more harm than good.  And unless it's an emergency, it's perfectly all right to ask to be able to show your photo to a female employee or officer.  There are few things so important as to interfere with your safety and security, and this is a matter of safety and security --- the safety and security of Islam's niqabis and burka-wearing sisters.

Waitress McAwesomesauce, at your service!

We were dead for most of last night.  I was scheduled off at 4 this morning.  Then Ricardo said I was going home at 1 or 2.  Then it was 3.  Then we got slammed.  It was actually a pretty decent night; I had a four-top of ladies who told Elise that it had been the best Restaurant of Awesome experience they'd ever had, and that they were definitely coming back.  :D

That despite these allergies.  I.  Am.  Waitress McAwesomesauce.  I also got tipped $14 on a $32 tab.  Heeeeeck, yeah!  They were a good table, despite one guy's tendency to answer my questions of "How are you tonight?" and "Is everything tasting okay?" with such reasonable, on-topic replies as, "I want smothered cheese fries" and "Unstoppable" --- which is only part of the name of a particular meal we serve.  Despite that, he was the one paying, and thus tipping.

God, I'm making this sound like all I care about are tips.  I don't.  I really do enjoy my job, and I'd work at my RoA even if I didn't get tipped.  Tips are just a very, very, very pleasant bonus, and my bank account and I really appreciate them.  Quite often they keep me from overdrawing my account.

A nice police officer asked about my hijab.  First he asked what it was, then if I'd been Muslim all my life, then if I converted because of a Muslim boyfriend.  Lol, Muslim boyfriend.  That's an oxymoron if there ever was one.  Well, if you define "dating" by society's current standard.  Muslims "date," of a sort ... it's more like courtship, really.  You're never allowed to be alone together, and you're talking with each other with an eye toward possibly getting married.

Oh, God, my friend's cat was apparently taken from her mama way too early, so when she kneads, she drools.  I didn't realise this until she was drooling as I left a voice-mail for another friend, so I was all, "Oh, dear God, why?!  Why God, why?!" on the voice-mail, wailing about the cat drooling on me.  It was funny.  Then we all took a nap.

God loves me; I have proof!

So, there was a brother who converted (reverted ... 'verted) the day I did, and we appear to have lost him. >:P How embarrassing. Anyway, let's see ... this is Sunday, so it was Saturday morning, thus Friday night. This is how I have to remember what days things happened on, because I work overnight.

Anyway, Friday evening I got some e-mails from the convert support group my masjid has, informing me of this and generally asking if anyone has seen him/knows his number/etc., so we can check up on him. I said that if I saw him at Denny's then I'd say hi and see how he's doing.

Well, Friday night I worked until 6am for Gina-Bean. I stayed until about 6:30am, and these two guys said assalam alaykum to me, so I was all happy. Then I noticed that the white guy (the other turned out to be of Mexican descent) kinda looked like our MIA 'vert. So I asked him when he'd taken Shahada, and whilst it turns out he's NOT our missing 'vert, he and his friend are both converts of last July and 15 years, respectively, and they are SUCH nice dudes. I gave them the address of this blog. Hi, guys! *waves* ^___^

Anyway, we talked for quite a while, and they're both very interested in my masjid's convert group, and said that if they saw our missing 'vert around, they'd let him know that the masjid is worried about him. Oh, and you remember the two Muslims from a few posts down? The ones where the wife had recently converted? Yeah, my new friends know them, lol. So they'll pass on my e-mail, which I, in all my dorkiness, forgot to do when I was talking with the woman and her husband, so we can all be awesome together. They also know the brother who runs the local halal shop.

I also have about $160 in cash saved up for my eye appointment that I made for Tuesday, right after I give blood again (I am SUCH a superhero, you have NO idea --- and so modest about it, too), and I will, God willing, have enough to get not only the glasses eye exam, but also the more expensive contacts eye exam. Iiiiiiiiiii'm so happyyyyyyyyy! :D

Dude, I totally chilled at work last night. We had a crummy bar rush, so I just told Gina-Bean and Elise to tell me when they wanted me to take tables, and spent the rest of my shift rolling silverware, lol. I also paid my dad $20 out of the $35 I owe him ... but, my paycheck on Monday should be HELLA big (I'm from Humboldt; I say hella! Wanna fight?) so my phone bill, eye exams, and Dad's money should all be able to fit in it, with money to spare for my poor savings account. ^_^

I also made Fajr today; my Easter resolution is to pray all 5 prayers on time today. :D